I feel like my emotions have gone completely haywire. I know there are a lot of reasons for it. Let's make a list.. shall we? Sure, lists are sometimes good - besides, it lets me vent:
I'm PMSing
I'm temporarily crippled and housebound
I'm missing Boston and my friends
I'm going through Gulf War withdrawls
I want to be closer to my Fayne Family as I always want to be this time of year
I'm missing what started to be a great friendship that I can't continue
I'm on pain meds that leave me tired and groggy
I'm missing my horse and being able to ride
I *know* that it's going to be months before I can ride again and it kills me
I'm feeling sorry for myself and it pisses me off
I have a husband sleeping in a separate bedroom
I miss my nephew who's way to far away from me
I miss my blood family who are all in the Arizona and Seattle area
I'm in pain even with the meds because I don't want to take them that often
I'm not currently working which makes me worry
Dave is still out of good work and is incredibly stressed and depressed
I haven't been able to take a shower in 5 days and its disgusting! Wipe down baths just don't do it people
I'm overwhelmed ........ gods I'm just so overwhelmed
We had the boys for a night this weekend which was good. It brought a change in the routine. A friend of ours invited us over for dinner and for the boys to go swimming in her pool. She and her husband took care of me and babied me which gave Dave a good break from it; plus the kids had a really great time in her pool. We have a pool at our complex but this made it so we could have a couple of drinks, relax, and hang out with our friends without the noise of neighbors and the need to sit out publicly with the community.
Sunday, April 5, 2009
Thursday, April 2, 2009
An update on my injury...
An update ......
First, thank you everyone for your well wishes. I really appreciate it. It's going to be a long road of recovery and I'm not looking too forward to it. I've been basically bedridden for only 3 days and I feel like I'm ready to jump out of my skin already.
I saw the orthopedic surgeon today and absolutely hated him. If anyone is ever down in the Clearwater, FL area and someone refers you to a Dr. Morris for ortho surgery, request someone else! Overall I believe he did what was needed, but I'm going to speak with a friend of mine about getting a second opinion.
Overall information first and then I'll tell you about the doctors appointment and why the Doctor pissed me off so bad:
1) Rebel (horse) is doing pretty good. His front left knee is pretty swollen and he has a few scrapes, but he came out of the accident fairly well. Thank god. I'd be even more of a wreck if anything had happened to him.
2) It will be at minimum 2 months before I have the view from the back of a horse again. (yes, of course it was one of my first questions). For those who have ridden, you know that the majority of your strength from riding comes from your legs. Not only do your muscles need to be in good shape, but your joints as well as your ankles and knees are bent at specific angles and rotated for various control.
3) As of today, I do not need surgery. WOOHOO! I'll have a recheck in 2 weeks and the final determination will be made at that time. If I need surgery anywhere, it's likely going to be my knee. My knee has more damage to it than initially thought.
4) My ankle is now stabilized in a cushion surrounded by steel boot. While it's heavy and a pain to hobble around in, it's also great! Between the cushion and the steel, my ankle is completely immobilized. This includes when I put some pressure on the foot, which is allowing me to place my foot down while using the crutches. I have a much greater amount of stability and a lot less pain due to the very limited / no motion of the foot any longer. Yay for that!
Ok, so why this Doctor is a complete loser. I got to my appointment and got back to the exam room no problem. The nurses were all great and very patient with me, given that I move very slow on the crutches. After about 5 minutes in the room I hear a deeper voiced gentleman talking on the phone outside the room and I 'jokingly' said to Dave, that must be my Doctor. I was actually pretty happy with the fact because I figured it'd be a couple minutes more and then he'd be in the room with me .. woohoo! No no no. His phone conversation lasted about another 15 minutes, and this 15 minute conversation wasn't all medical. It started that way, but then it turned into a very chatty, visiting with a friend type of conversation. Ok ... so I'm starting to get annoyed.
Finally, he gets off the phone and I'm thinking 'Thank God, he's coming.. ". NOPE! He stood around in the hall, right outside the door of the exam room, chit chatting with the nurses and other Doctors for another 15-20 minutes. About skiing, and steak, and this amazing shrimp he had that tasted so good it was like lobster with every bite and how his two favorite hobbies were skiing and eating!!!!!!! .. On and on and on!!!!!!!! I would've left if my injury wasn't so severe and I thought I could quickly see someone else. However, I knew both of those things would take more time so I decided to suck it up.
So, after 30-40 minutes of listening to his chitchat, he comes into the room and introduces himself and asks me to get up onto the table. (I had taken a seat in the chair as the nurse suggested due to my inability to get onto the table). I looked at him with kind of a blank stare for a moment and explained that I couldn't put any weight on the foot/leg and so I couldn't get onto the table. He looked at Dave and then me and said you've got this man here with you, I'm sure you can manage it okay, said he'd be right back, and left. Ooooooook....... so, with Dave's assistance, I did get up onto the flat table with very little problem. Ok, he was right about that, no biggie. He comes back in and asks me to turn around on the table so I'm facing the other way. (my leg was on the far side of him, silly error on my part) As I start to swing around he grabs ahold of my bad ankle to try and assist me and I froze. I calmly explained that him holding onto my ankle hurts ... he continues to try and help me turn while holding my ankle ... I explain again to *PLEASE* let go of my ankle because it hurts and I'll shift around. He dense brain finally understands and I turn and lay down facing the other direction. At this point as I'm sure you all can understand, I'm concerned and worried. Mr Morris (since I don't even feel he deserves to be called Doctor anymore) seems very distracted and hurried, BUT I think to myself, the exam will be over soon, so I can make it through this and go from there.
I explain to Mister Morris my accident, what happened, and the type of pain I've been in. He starts by trying to lay my leg flat. I explain I can't do that because my heel will be pressing down on the table and pressure on the heel hurts too. He seems annoyed by this point. So he props a small pillow under my calf to make it so I can straighten at the knee completely....... and he starts to prod my knee. Ok, let me clarify that I understand that an exam of an injury hurts, it can really hurt sometimes because the Doctor is trying to figure out how severe the problem is, HOWEVER, if the Doctor is a good Doctor they tend to listen to their patient and make sure they're not going to kill them in the process. As Mr. Morris began examining my knee I instantly tensed up because it was instantly very painful, I very clearly said, that's really really hurting while gasping at the small prods he was making. He muttered in my direction, "I know I know.. I need to do the exam though.. give me a moment". He then proceeded to push HARD down on the knee. I didn't grunt, groan, gasp ... I screamed. You can ask Dave or anyone else that knows me, I pretty much don't scream, especially in a Doctors office as it'd be embarassing, but it hurt just that bad. I screamed and instantly burst into tears and begged him, "please.. please please stop ... you're hurting me so bad". Low and behold that did get through to him and he stopped and moved onto my ankle. Thankfully he only did small rotations and softer prodding in that area to get his 'exam' done.
He ordered a few more xrays, left the room, and I turned to Dave who looked ready to go after the guy and tear his head off and said, "He might as well have thrown the damn horse on me again with how badly he just hurt me."
The new xrays were also negative and that was pretty much the end of the traumatizing experience. His kind and gentle nurses took care of the rest thank God. They scheduled me for a 2 week followup (which won't be kept) and I was on my way in my new, heavy, clunky, but comfortable steel boot.
Anyhow, I'll be writing a letter to the Doctor who referred me to him, because I think that Dr (who was very kind) should know what an idiot this guy is and I'll also be finding out if there's a clinic manager that I can write to at the location Mr. Morris works at. Mr. Morris who's at least 70 years old and should have retired 45 years ago based on what I saw of his care today.
Thanks again for your support everyone ... I'll keep you all update to date!
First, thank you everyone for your well wishes. I really appreciate it. It's going to be a long road of recovery and I'm not looking too forward to it. I've been basically bedridden for only 3 days and I feel like I'm ready to jump out of my skin already.
I saw the orthopedic surgeon today and absolutely hated him. If anyone is ever down in the Clearwater, FL area and someone refers you to a Dr. Morris for ortho surgery, request someone else! Overall I believe he did what was needed, but I'm going to speak with a friend of mine about getting a second opinion.
Overall information first and then I'll tell you about the doctors appointment and why the Doctor pissed me off so bad:
1) Rebel (horse) is doing pretty good. His front left knee is pretty swollen and he has a few scrapes, but he came out of the accident fairly well. Thank god. I'd be even more of a wreck if anything had happened to him.
2) It will be at minimum 2 months before I have the view from the back of a horse again. (yes, of course it was one of my first questions). For those who have ridden, you know that the majority of your strength from riding comes from your legs. Not only do your muscles need to be in good shape, but your joints as well as your ankles and knees are bent at specific angles and rotated for various control.
3) As of today, I do not need surgery. WOOHOO! I'll have a recheck in 2 weeks and the final determination will be made at that time. If I need surgery anywhere, it's likely going to be my knee. My knee has more damage to it than initially thought.
4) My ankle is now stabilized in a cushion surrounded by steel boot. While it's heavy and a pain to hobble around in, it's also great! Between the cushion and the steel, my ankle is completely immobilized. This includes when I put some pressure on the foot, which is allowing me to place my foot down while using the crutches. I have a much greater amount of stability and a lot less pain due to the very limited / no motion of the foot any longer. Yay for that!
Ok, so why this Doctor is a complete loser. I got to my appointment and got back to the exam room no problem. The nurses were all great and very patient with me, given that I move very slow on the crutches. After about 5 minutes in the room I hear a deeper voiced gentleman talking on the phone outside the room and I 'jokingly' said to Dave, that must be my Doctor. I was actually pretty happy with the fact because I figured it'd be a couple minutes more and then he'd be in the room with me .. woohoo! No no no. His phone conversation lasted about another 15 minutes, and this 15 minute conversation wasn't all medical. It started that way, but then it turned into a very chatty, visiting with a friend type of conversation. Ok ... so I'm starting to get annoyed.
Finally, he gets off the phone and I'm thinking 'Thank God, he's coming.. ". NOPE! He stood around in the hall, right outside the door of the exam room, chit chatting with the nurses and other Doctors for another 15-20 minutes. About skiing, and steak, and this amazing shrimp he had that tasted so good it was like lobster with every bite and how his two favorite hobbies were skiing and eating!!!!!!! .. On and on and on!!!!!!!! I would've left if my injury wasn't so severe and I thought I could quickly see someone else. However, I knew both of those things would take more time so I decided to suck it up.
So, after 30-40 minutes of listening to his chitchat, he comes into the room and introduces himself and asks me to get up onto the table. (I had taken a seat in the chair as the nurse suggested due to my inability to get onto the table). I looked at him with kind of a blank stare for a moment and explained that I couldn't put any weight on the foot/leg and so I couldn't get onto the table. He looked at Dave and then me and said you've got this man here with you, I'm sure you can manage it okay, said he'd be right back, and left. Ooooooook....... so, with Dave's assistance, I did get up onto the flat table with very little problem. Ok, he was right about that, no biggie. He comes back in and asks me to turn around on the table so I'm facing the other way. (my leg was on the far side of him, silly error on my part) As I start to swing around he grabs ahold of my bad ankle to try and assist me and I froze. I calmly explained that him holding onto my ankle hurts ... he continues to try and help me turn while holding my ankle ... I explain again to *PLEASE* let go of my ankle because it hurts and I'll shift around. He dense brain finally understands and I turn and lay down facing the other direction. At this point as I'm sure you all can understand, I'm concerned and worried. Mr Morris (since I don't even feel he deserves to be called Doctor anymore) seems very distracted and hurried, BUT I think to myself, the exam will be over soon, so I can make it through this and go from there.
I explain to Mister Morris my accident, what happened, and the type of pain I've been in. He starts by trying to lay my leg flat. I explain I can't do that because my heel will be pressing down on the table and pressure on the heel hurts too. He seems annoyed by this point. So he props a small pillow under my calf to make it so I can straighten at the knee completely....... and he starts to prod my knee. Ok, let me clarify that I understand that an exam of an injury hurts, it can really hurt sometimes because the Doctor is trying to figure out how severe the problem is, HOWEVER, if the Doctor is a good Doctor they tend to listen to their patient and make sure they're not going to kill them in the process. As Mr. Morris began examining my knee I instantly tensed up because it was instantly very painful, I very clearly said, that's really really hurting while gasping at the small prods he was making. He muttered in my direction, "I know I know.. I need to do the exam though.. give me a moment". He then proceeded to push HARD down on the knee. I didn't grunt, groan, gasp ... I screamed. You can ask Dave or anyone else that knows me, I pretty much don't scream, especially in a Doctors office as it'd be embarassing, but it hurt just that bad. I screamed and instantly burst into tears and begged him, "please.. please please stop ... you're hurting me so bad". Low and behold that did get through to him and he stopped and moved onto my ankle. Thankfully he only did small rotations and softer prodding in that area to get his 'exam' done.
He ordered a few more xrays, left the room, and I turned to Dave who looked ready to go after the guy and tear his head off and said, "He might as well have thrown the damn horse on me again with how badly he just hurt me."
The new xrays were also negative and that was pretty much the end of the traumatizing experience. His kind and gentle nurses took care of the rest thank God. They scheduled me for a 2 week followup (which won't be kept) and I was on my way in my new, heavy, clunky, but comfortable steel boot.
Anyhow, I'll be writing a letter to the Doctor who referred me to him, because I think that Dr (who was very kind) should know what an idiot this guy is and I'll also be finding out if there's a clinic manager that I can write to at the location Mr. Morris works at. Mr. Morris who's at least 70 years old and should have retired 45 years ago based on what I saw of his care today.
Thanks again for your support everyone ... I'll keep you all update to date!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)