My last post has to do with the dates that Sean and I were going on. Those dates have come to a temporary standstill, I'll get into that later and some other time.
I'm more writing this morning because it's an outlet for having a *really*, really, REALLY crappy morning.
Quite honestly, if I had a way to rid myself of dreams, forever, I think I would. Not my hopes and aspirations, and day dreams type dreams - I mean the fall asleep into a tortured world type dreams.
I've always struggled with nightmares, for some reason they are a constant with me. I'm guaranteed to be plagued by them if I go to bed upset or stressed, but even when I've had an enjoyable day they seem to find a way into my subconscious dreamworld.
Last night was just ridiculous. I can pinpont 4 separate nightmares I had. This is a new record for me as I think I've really only had 1 or 2 nightmares per evening previously.
To give them each a brief synopsis, these are the four I can remember in way to much detail:
Nightmare #1) Dream about the world coming to an end in literally days. (really!??! .. where would this even stem from?). Apparantly the Prophet told my Mom and everyone else in the LDS church to get ready, because the end was coming very soon. She called all of us kids to tell us this and when I asked her skeptically just what "very soon" meant, she said it was going to be within a couple days. A couple of weeks at most. Essentially, she explained that the solar rays from the sun were piercing through our atmosphere and were going to set our world on fire. Again I say.... REALLY!?
Wake up, toss turn, consider calling my Mom, determine that's ridiculous. Go back to sleep..
Nightmare #2) Dream about having a completely deformed baby. It wasn't a long dream but it was bad enough. I became pregnant, went in for a 6 month ultrasound, and all of the arms, legs, head, everything was pretty much in the wrong place. In fact, my 'baby' was mostly a jumbled blob.
After dream two I looked at my alarm clock which read 2:08am and decided I had enough sleep for one evening. That lasted for about 1/2 hour before I became exhausted again and decided to lay back down and snuggle up to my husband.
Queue Nightmare #3) A dream that's similar to one I've had a couple of times and so it doesn't bother me too much because it's one of those reaccuring things. Basically Sean created an alternative email account. He was using it to contact a few of my friends in secret context. The ridiculous thing was that the email account ID, was a mixture of names from several of my ex's. I couldn't tell you the context of the 'secret' emails, other than they were secret, as the dream wasn't that in depth.
Wake up, fall back asleep almost immediately.
Nightmare #4) Sean runs off with a friend of ours as they've "fallen in love" with each other. (awesomesauce!!!.. my favorite type of dream!). Again, not a ton of detail to this one. Other than receiving a text that we needed to talk, and coming home to him telling me he's moving temporarily to TN so that he can be with his new found 'love'. Thankfully the dream ended quickly due to Sean's own tossing and turning during the morning waking me up.
Surprisingly when I looked at the clock it was already 5:30am, which means I must've slept without any nightmares or dreams for a good period of time. I snuggled up next to Sean for a bit and breathed deeply. He shortly after turned over and pulled me against him for snuggles as he often does when my alarm goes off to give me a few more happy moments before I have to leave. (I generally wake up about 30 minutes before him).
The evening soured my mood this morning and had me on edge. The purpose of coming to write was really to get it all out in the hopes it would improve how I was feeling. I'm glad to say that it has been somewhat of a help.
