Sunday Stealing Meme

This is a nice and long one which is perfect because it's what I was in the mood for. Sunday Stealing is located at: http://sundaystealing.blogspot.com/ It's a wonderful Sunday activity in which the person who owns the site goes hunting for other random Memes I have to say, I think they're typically some of the best.

LAYER 1: Tell us your...

* Name: Rachel
* Birthday (month, day): May 25th
* Birthplace: Portland, OR
* Current location: Largo, FL
* Eye color: Blue
* Hair color: Brown
* Height: 5'7"
* Righty or lefty: Lefty
* Zodiac sign: Gemini

LAYER 2: What's...

* Your heritage: Irish and German
* The shoes you wore today: When I had some on, stable boots for riding, but I didn't go much of anywhere except to the barn today.
* Your weakness: Food, it always will be.
* Your fears: Spiders, dying young, missing something important.
* Your perfect pizza: fresh mozerella(sp), tomatoes, artichoke hearts, fresh ricotta
* Goals you’d like to achieve: Reaching 160pds. Secure financial security. The ability to retire at 65. (I'm 32, but I think about it all the time).
* Your first waking thoughts: UGH!!!! It's morning. I HATE mornings.
* Your best physical feature: Eyes, always been my eyes.
* Your most missed memory: Wow, this is a hard question for me. I've lost tons and tons of memories. I generally can't remember the details of something for more than a year or two and I hate it. Dr's state its a block I put up long ago. Anyhow, without going into extreme detail I can remember an event happening. (the birth of my son), but I have no memories of the details. I take tons of pictures of everything to help with this.

LAYER 3: Do you...

* Smoke: rarely, but once in awhile still
* Cuss: hell yes, probably too much.
* Sing: yep! but almost only when I'm alone.
* Take a shower every day: most of the time
* Do you think you’ve been in love: Yea
* Did you go to college: Briefly, no degrees though.
* Liked high school: hated it in every way possible.
* Want to get/stay married: Yes
* Believe in yourself: Yes, I've struggled with this, but more and more I do.
* Think you’re attractive: Eh, working on this, but yes definitely more than a year ago.
* Think you’re a health freak: Nope, I just try to make good choices about my food.
* Get along with your parent(s): Very much so.
* Like thunderstorms: Absolutely love them.
* Play an instrument: Used to play piano. Still can, just not well.

LAYER 4: In the past month have you…

* Drank alcohol: yes
* Smoked: yes
* Done a drug: yes
* Made out: yes
* Gone on a date: yes
* Gone to the mall: yes
* Eaten an entire box of Oreos: no
* Eaten sushi: yes
* Been on stage: no
* Been dumped: no
* Gone skating: no
* Gone skinny dipping: no
* Stolen Anything: no

LAYER 5: Have you ever…

* Played a game that required removal of clothing: yes
* Been trashed or extremely intoxicated: yes
* Been caught “doing something”: yes
* Been called a tease: yes
* Gotten beaten up: no, been hit and slapped, but I haven't been 'beaten up' by my thoughts of the term.
* Shoplifted: yes

LAYER 6:

* Age you did get/hope to be married: 31
* Numbers and names of children (either you have or want): 1 son, 2 stepsons. Son was adopted after he was born, open adoption so I still have contact, his name is Carter. Two stepsons live about 5 minutes away. Devon and Ian.
* Describe your dream mate: Romantic, supportive, honest.
* How do you want to die: Peacefully, painlessly.
* What did you want to be when you grow up: Vet. I started, but stopped during my first internship, I couldn't handle how horrible some people were to their animals. I've thought about going back and restarting now that I'm older.
* What country would you most like to visit: This is hard as there are so many. One that tops my list is Italy.

LAYER 7: Now tell...

* Name a drug you’ve taken illegally: Marijuana
* Name a person you could trust with my life: Dave
* Name a favorite CD that you own: Lincoln Park - Hybrid Theory
* Number of piercings: Only 4 currently. Used to have several. Two holes each ear. One in the lobe of each ear and one in the trakus of each ear.
* Number of tattoos: 1 - dark faire on my left ankle. A lot of meaning behind it too.
* Number of times my name has appeared in the newspaper: Not sure? Maybe once or twice but I dont know of any distinctive times.
* Name a past experience that you regret: I try not to regret any, but I do have one that I would like to eventually get past. I regret not being strong enough to walk away from my ex, it's been 8+ years, yet it's always bugged me, I hope someday it doesn't.

Another Friday Fill-Ins Meme!

1. My stomach is much smaller than it's ever been!!!!!!!
2. Turkey is what I ate the most of on Thursday.
3. The yard doesn't exist at my apartment. lol. We have no yard.
4. With horses is where I'd rather be at any given time.
5. The smell of leather reminds me of one of my favorite places, the horse barn.
6. Less back pain is what I need right now!
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to a long sleep in my cozy bed, tomorrow my plans include seeing Rebel and giving Devon a riding lesson, and Sunday, I want to relax and do some Christmas shopping from home!

I've been sick all week and without a voice the majority of it. Not really in the mood to write much more than the meme.

Saturday 9

I've been up in Boston for the last week and a half without internet (except at work), so no blogging for me. It's too late and I'm too tired to write at the moment, but I figured I'd at least put up a Meme. PLUS, my lil' sister is here visiting MEEEE! .. so I am spending most of my time with her while I can.

1. What did you dream about last night? I don't think I drempt last night.

2. Do you often have nightmares? Alllll the time, hate it.

3. Do you have any special talents? Horseback riding/training (WOOT!) and I used to play the piano quite well.

4. Who is the most talented person that you know? Difficult question, not sure.

5. What did you watch on TV last? ER, caught up on my episodes last night.

6. Is there a new TV show that you would recommend? My lil sister says Chuck, but I'm not a big fan. Right now I'm fairly addicted to Grey's Anatomy, but that's not new.

7. Who was the last person you phoned and why? Ryan, lil sisters husband to say I was on the way back to the house.

8. Who was the last person who phoned you and why? Ryan and Bek (lil sister) to get the address to come to our house.

9. What was the last snail mail letter that you received? Some kind of junk mail or bill I've no doubt. There was a stack about 4 inches high of mail when I came back from Boston.

Friday Fill-In #97

1. My blueprint for success includes happiness. A LOT of happiness.
2. Reese's Pieces was the last candy I ate.
3. The best facial moisturizer I've ever used is Ponds.
4. Laughter can be good therapy.
5. I'd like to tell you about my sadness right now. (see last post)
6. My empathy and love for people is my strongest characteristic.
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to sleep, tomorrow my plans include a surprise and Sunday, I want to be happy and relaxed!

Bad things happen to good people

This is one of those things in life I've never fully understand. I'm not talking about grandma getting a flat tire, or a child falling down and skinning their knee. I'm not even talking about a favorite pet passing away as this is something that happens in the normal cycle of life. I'm talking about those things that are horrible, cruel, painful, and hurtful to the bone. I'm talking about those things happening to really good people.

Very few people in my life now, know of the dark past that I came from. My family has endured more pain and turmoil than anyone should ever see.

I have a friend that I love so much that my heart could burst who has endured years of abuse. A dear friend who is now struggling her hardest with her hands raw from grasping the rope of hope, trying her damnedest to get away from the bastard. Why do people like him exist? Why is it allowed?

I have another dear friend who has just been charged with murder. Yes, I wrote that correctly. Murder. I don't know the whole story, I don't know all the details. However, what I do know is that this is one of the most kind hearted, gentle, and loving people I've had the privildge of knowing. She's in prison currently, in solitary confinement, not because she did something bad (to be confined), but because they have to keep her seperated from the other inmates that want to kill her. It was a baby that died; she was 1 years old. The baby didn't do anything wrong - she was an innocent little girl. I truly believe that my friend did not do anything wrong either. Something happened, something isn't being said, someone is lying.

A family friend was riding in the sand dunes with his wife a couple months ago. They were on some abandoned roads and out alone, not too smart. They were looking at the scenery and playing around, both in their young 30's. Flying down one of the roads they came around a corner and a wire was strung across the road - right at neck height - someone was trying to slow down those speeding on the roads. Our friends shouldn't have been going so fast. The wire should have never been strung due to the danger. The husband was in front and the wire broke his neck and ripped open is coratid artery at the same time. His wife was flung free and other than a broken shoulder was okay. She watched her husband die. They have 4 children. How is that fair? In what way does that make sense?

I believe in God. I was raised to and have a fairly strong faith of my own that he exists. I know a lot of people who don't and respect their opinions as long as they respect mine. Yet ........ with things like the above happening. I can see why some people have a hard time believing.

I'm hurting right now. I wish I could understand why such horrible things have to happen in this life. Why do they happen to good people?

13 Things I'm Missing

With my husband and I's recent move from Boston, MA to Largo, FL a lot of things have changed - some of which are hopefully very temporary. So... for my Thursday Thirteen this week I'm doing things that I'm missing; some are related to the move, some are not. The numbers are in no particular order of importance - they're all important in their own way.

1) My husbands confidence - he's out of a job with the move and the last 2 months have been job hunting hell. A lot of hard work with very little response.

2) Barbara - one of the best best bestest friends I've ever had. I met her a few months before I left Boston and she's one of the biggest part of Boston I miss. She understands me like very few people have. I can't wait to see her again.

3) My Team - I work for a large company in the Boston area and am the Team Leader for 10 of the employees. I still work with them all daily by telecommuting, but I really miss being able to see them, laugh with them, and hang out for a drink after work on Fridays.

4) Being financially secure - with one job right now we're dipping into our savings account every month to pay the bills. We knew it would be hard finding a job for Dave down here, but we were expecting more than this. Within a couple of months we'll be in very big trouble if something doesn't come up.

5) Manicures - With two jobs and a secure income, I could get these weekly. It's a small thing, but was a bit of comfort I loved.

6) Pedicures - See above for the reasons. Again, it's a small thing, but sometimes our small comforts can matter a whole lot.

7) My family - my in-laws were in Boston. My Mom and Sis with my nephew is in Arizona. My brother and youngest sister are in Seattle. I miss them all, daily. I was raised as a very family oriented person and have a hard time being seperated from them. Yet -- my husbands two children are in Florida and they need him right now. I will endure.

8) ER - it's not gone yet, but I'm **SO** going to miss it once this season is over!!! I've been watching the show religiously for years.

9) The Garcia-Rowe family - They live in Boston and were good friends of Dave and I's. I loved visiting with them and spending time with their adorable daughter Ela.

10) Meghan and Zach - Another pair of wonderful friends from Boston. I feel that we should've spent more time with them. Lives get busy and sometimes we forget to do the more fun things in life.

11) Moody Street - A street in Waltham (Boston area) that had the bestest restaurants! Every kind of ethnic food you could think of. It was a great place to wander and spend time.

12) Not Your Average Joe's - Dave and I's favorite restaurant. None in Florida of course. If you live near one and you haven't gone, you *need* to go. Reasonable prices and some of the best food around. Sign up for their club / emails - they send all kinds of coupons and fabulous deals.

13) The Fells - Behind Dave's family's house was several hundred acres of woods. We went for walks in the woods all the time, long and short. Tons of trails to explore.

Manic Monday -- It definitely was!

Woke up to finding out that 5 of my 10 team were out today. 2 had accidents over the weekend - fairly bad ones, 1 was sick, 1 is scheduled on vacation, and 1 was in meetings after 10am due to new projects that he's taken on. (without speaking to me about them first). Argh! We got through the day and that part is great. Tomorrow will be a better work day.

I saw my Rebel man today. We had a good ride, however, prior to riding he decided to almost try and kill me. hehe. I can laugh about it now because it's okay, but at the time it was very bad. Keep in mind that this is my calm and docile gelding that never acts up. So, get to the barn, I'm in his stall cleaning like usual. He's hanging out in the stall like usual. Except this time his neighbor, a young palomino gelding decided to stick his head around his door and into Rebel's space. Then, all holy hell broke loose. Rebel dived at him, knocking me into the wall, both had their teeth bared and they were screaming like a couple of stallions. Ridiculous! I got bumped into the wall a few more times as he lunged and then I shoved the wooden handle of the pitchfork type tool into his ribs. He moved over and after a few more threatening gestures from me calmed down. Needless to say, I put his halter on and took him OUT of his stall before I finished cleaning. The funny part is I guess when I was shoving him away and pissed I screamed, "Absolutely not exceptable! You had your balls cut off 2 years ago, no more acting like a retarded stallion!!!". I remember yelling at him, but my fear had kind of taken over at that point so I hadn't remembered what I yelled. The gals at the barn gave me a bit of a tease over it for the night once they found out that I was okay. Anyhow, this was totally out of character for Rebel, he truly is incredibly easy going with both humans and other horses. After talking with his owner for a bit I found out that the only time he gets aggressive is with young stallions or geldings - in this case the palomino is a 2 year old. So ... now I know. It just never became an issue as the little palomino generally keeps his head in his own stall and out of site.

Anyway ... onto other things. Time for the Manic Monday Meme!!!

How many hours of TV do you watch per week? Probably close to 20 hours that I actually watch throughout the week. Give or take a couple. I'd say that at minimum half those hours are keeping the TV on in the background for noise.

Do you feel that's too much, not enough or just right? Borderline too much, but not as bad as some. I have 5 shows I tend to watch weekly, the rest is noise or boredom and I could go with or without it.

Which of the 5 senses do you feel is your strongest sense? From the standard senses, my sense of smell. I'm always picking up things that other people don't.

What's the wackiest belief you held as a child? I thought cartoons were real, could feel real pain, real pleasure, etc. At one point I even spoke to my Dad about how "Dumbo" was being abused in his movie and it upset me. This lasted for me for way to long - I was around 10 yrs old when reality started to set in. My sense of what was real and what was not set in late for me. My Mom and I have analyzed it a bit before on why that might have been, but it's not really a concern now.

Another Day

It's pretty bad when I have to read through my recent blog entries to see what I have and haven't already written about. Ehhh, overall I have a bad memory anyway, so I figure even if I was writing more frequently I'd still be looking back at previous posts.

Since I'm actually taking the time to write tonight, there are a few things I want to touch on. I'm going to make a little note of them here, that way I can check back on my list when I get caught up in writing. (Did I mention memory problems?) So, the kids, the horses, the job situation and finances, my nephew, this weekend, and Dave.

We had the kids this weekend, I think we're starting to get into a routine now. Right now they only stay for 1 night and it's every other weekend; but for the most part we now see them every weekend. Right now it definitely works for me, I think we're all still adjusting in a huge way. I think I'm improving my tolerance and acceptance. It sounds horrible and I haven't really mentioned it a lot, but sometimes I have a really hard time with them. I think it's partially because I resent them for having such a control on where Dave and I are located. I know that they're kids and it's not directly their fault -- but it's because they exist that we have to be certain places at certain times and live in certain areas. I know that probably sounds horrendous and I really don't mean it too, it's just a fact put in the very basic and blunt of terms. The other big adjustment is the noise levels - holy cow two kids in a 2 bedroom apartment can make a lot of noise! Even when they're being quiet, it's still so much more than I'm used to. Constant questions, constant talking (if they're not talking to each other or Dave and I, it's too themselves) and right now fairly constant fighting and talking back. They're 8 and 12 year old boys and they seem to have it out for each other ALL the TIME. The talking back we mostly get from the 8 year old and Dave and I both have zero, zip, zilch tolerance for it. I was recently told by someone that they thought we were a bit too strict because we set times that they have to be completely silent for 30 minutes at a time (they can read, play their DS (with the sound off), etc). And we recently started a silence punishment for talking back. I kind of laugh to myself about it - I personally believe it's very very far from harsh.

On the good side of things, Dave and I seem to work very well together with the kids. It seems like when I'm at my breaking point, he's calm and when he's at his breaking point, I'm calm. They both pushed a lot of buttons this weekend - so Dave and I took a couple of time-outs ourselves. Today I played "Whoonu" with the boys while Dave took a break. They hadn't played before and I didn't know how it would go, but it turned out to be really fun! Plus it allowed the boys and I to learn some new things about each other!

I'm also teaching them both out to ride horses now. One of the horses I'm leasing, Rebel, is fabulous with the kids. He's a very patient guy and I don't have to worry about him bolting away or being out of control. Ian (12yo) is a bit scared of horses still, so he's making some slow adjustments to just being around them. Devon (8yo) is our fearless wonder and is borderline not cautious enough, but, he's also picking up the skills of riding and horseman ship *amazingly* well. His balance in riding is wonderful, leg position and heel position I hardly have to remind him about, he's already holding the reins correctly without me having to show him. This Saturday was his 2nd time on Rebel by himself and I had him in the round pen for safety. (circle arena about 30 ft across) I figured I'd just have him walk on the edge of the pen and work on keeping Rebel there, but by the end of a half hour he was turning him in different directions, doing figure eights, and I started teaching him about 2-point and posting with the outside leg. I was beyond impressed and really quite proud of him.

As far as myself at the horses, I'm leasing Romeo for free (clysdale / quarter horse cross) and Rebel for a monthly fee. (paint / quarterhorse cross). They're both great in their own ways, but I will fully admit that I like working with Rebel a great deal more. I don't want to let either of them go, but in the next couple of weeks I think I really need to speak with Romeo's owner about no longer riding him. Both Romeo and Rebel have problems and steps in their training that need to be done and both levels of additional training I'm capable of doing. However, Romeo I'm not seeing any progress with and I rarely enjoy our ride together because of the struggle. Rebel is responding very well and is making leaps and bounds in his progress. In fact, Rebel and I will be going into our first competition in about 3 weeks. *huge smile* I'm incredibly excited to get back into the show circuit.

The job situation has unforunately not changed much. I'm still in the same job which works great for me. Dave is still mostly unemployed. I say mostly because our friend Tony did find him a job ... but it's commission only. Honestly I'm grateful for any additional financial help we have and at least this is something. His take home was $130 last week, untaxed, as he works as a contractor. We'll put money in our savings account from each check to make sure we're okay at the end of the year. In the meantime he is still submitting additional, non-stop resumes without any calls! I think that drives me the most crazy, if he'd at least get a couple of phone calls for interviews it would give us some hope, but there's literally NO response. I dunno, I should probably have my sister look over the cover letter and resume to see if she has any suggestions. We've been fairly financially stable for the last year and a half, so going back down to living paycheck to paycheck, barely paying the bills, questioning if there's enough to buy gas for the car, etc is very hard. Yet I do know there are many out there that have it worse than we do currently - I am able to lease a horse (thank goodness as it's been a huge source of happiness for me here) - we are able to buy groceries for the week.

So I just have to write at least a small blurb about my nephew. My perfect, adorable, wonderful nephew - who lives way way way to far away with his Mom. He's 8 months now and is just one of the most beautiful babies you will ever see. I love him more and more each time I see a new pic and video. He's sadly in Arizona, so I've only seen him twice since he was born, BUT, I'll be seeing him in December!!! I can't wait! I need to get some pictures into my blogger sometime soon.

The weekend was busy and I'm rolling into Monday again feeling a bit too tired and not revived from my weekend time. I wanted to get a lot done on the apartment this weekend and we did get a pretty good dent into stuff today. There's still SO much to do - but I can at least see the difference we made. Saturday I rode Rebel and gave Devon his lesson. Friday we went out to a local bar for Halloween. I ended up ordering and getting some bad food and getting pretty yucky sick by midnight, it was bad. Before the food came we had a good time playing darts and socializing with a couple of the people we'd met previously. I went in my belly dancing wear and was nice and comfy in my costume. Two hip scarves with jangles, an additional jangle chain, wide cotton embroidered scarf tied around my middle to hide the tummy area, long black flowy skirt, and a very boobly chole on top made up the outfit along with bright colored makeup, necklaces, braclets, and dangly earrings.

I think I covered all my subject. (checks above) Yes, it appears I did. Yay me. ;) Hmm, I'm craving cheese, I'm going to go get some cheese.

What are your nicknames? Zaudika, Z, Rach

What TV gameshow or reality show would you like to be on? I used to always want to be on "The Price is Right". Now I'm not too sure, they have a decorating show that I could see trying -- though I have no specific experience.

What was the first movie you bought in VHS or DVD? omg I have no idea. That was so long ago!

What is your favorite scent? I don't really have a favorite, I like very earthy scents and tropical scents though.

If you had one million dollars to spend only on yourself, what would you spend it on? Clothing, new matching furniture for the rooms in my house, a house on property with a barn. A horse or two. A ton ton ton of travel vouchers to use to see my family as much as I possibly can. Vacations to some of the places I've always wanted to go. Investiments.

What is one place you've visited, can't forget and want to go back to? Toss up between New Orleans and Vegas. I've been to Vegas once and we go to New Orleans every March. I've had an amazing time in both places and would love to continue and go back.

Do you trust easily? No.

Do you generally think before you act, or act before you think? I tend to lean a bit more towards acting before I think.

Is there anything that has made you unhappy these days? Yes.

Do you have a good body image? Not good, but working on it.

What is your favorite fruit? Pineapple

What websites do you visit daily? MySpace, Gmail, Yahoo, Craigslist

What have you been seriously addicted to lately? MySpace, to a ridiculous browsing amount. Silly really. That and craigslist, there are ALL kinds of things on there.

What's the last song that got stuck in your head? Hmm, not sure, thank goodness.

What is your favorite thing to wear? T-Shirt and jeans or comfi loose khakis.

Do you think Rice Krispies are yummy? They're okay. I had a craving the other day and got some, they weren't nearly as good as I remembered.

What would you do if you saw $100 lying on the ground? Depends on where I was. Most likely pick it up and keep it. If I was in a grocery store / department store I would go to Customer Service and ask if anyone had come by in regards to lost money. If it's in a wallet with ID then it's generally an easy return. (been there and done that as well) Just last night we were in the grocery store and they made an announcement that someone had dropped a fairly large amount of cash and asked that everyone look around them and bring it to the Customer Service desk.

What items couldn't you go without during the day? Couldn't? Like couldn't survive? Probably nothing. I think toilet paper is the one thing I would *REALLY* want to have. If we're talking comfort reasons - cellphone, hairbrush, water, food, and toilet paper.

What should you be doing right now? Relaxing. I've gotten a lot done this weekend.