Insomnia

I've suffered from insomnia on and off for most of my life. There are times it happens, 'just because', but the majority of the time it's stress, pressure, or extreme sadness. Pretty much when anything big is going on or about to happen.

Que move to Florida - Que insomnia that started about a week ago. I was lucky if I was getting more than 3 or 4 hours of sleep a night. 3 or 4 hours of sleep equals a very bitchy, moody, up and down depressed, sometimes angry for no reason person.

I saw my therapist on Wednesday and confessed that I hadn't been taking Lorezapam to help getting to sleep. Lorazepam is an almost instant acting antianxiety strong sedative. In general if I'm starting to have an anxiety attack I take one. In previous years I took 2 to help me sleep through most of the night. Anyhow, I explained to my therapist of 3 years that I was worried about getting addicted. She laughed and told me how silly I was being. I finally agreed that yeah, I was being silly aboout it.

So Wednesday night I took 1 pill, no help really, I got to sleep, didn't stay asleep. Thursday night I skipped again, what can I say, I'm stubborn! Last night I was feeling kind of desperate as it had been a really bad day and it had been more than a week. I took 2. I want to sleep around 1am, woke up about 9:30am. HOORAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!! I feel better this morning than I have all week.

Moral of this story: STOP BEING STUBBORN!!!

I probably won't take it nightly up to the move, but likely a couple times a week if the pattern of no sleep remains the same. What's always funny to me is how itty bitty tiny winny the pills are for Lorazepam. 1 pill is a dose of 0.5mgs. I seem to be fairly sensitive to the med. I'm not sure how others handle the drug, but I'm sure there are others out there that are on higher doses to help them out.

Anyhow .. I'm thrilled I got the sleep because today Dave's family is treating us by going to Fenway Park!!! WOO!!! We wont be watching the Red Sox, instead we'll be watching the AAA Team, for those who dont know, in general these men are the up and coming Red Sox team. We have amazing seats, 4 rows behind home plate! Thank you Jim!!! (Dave's brother). I've never been to Fenway or a live baseball game so this will be a really awesome treat for me. :)

I've got to go hit the shower and head downstairs. Perhaps I'll write after.