The Sunday Stealing meme is one of my favorites because it's always changing. I haven't been posting or doing meme's quite as often, but I've got some extra time today so here we go!
Question 1: Who do you think is the hottest movie star? This is a hard one as I have a few favorites. Men: Ryan Reynolds; Hugh Jackman. Women: Nicole Kidman; Charlize Theron. Though I think they're both more attractive when they're not super bone-showing skinny.
Question 2: Apart from your house and your car, what is the most expensive thing you have ever bought? Jewelry, necklace and small topaz and white gold ring I bought myself.
Question 3: What is your most treasured memory? I have two right now. The birth of my son will always first and foremost. And honestly.. the first time I met Sean.. it was an amazing moment that I haven't experienced before.
Question 4: What is the best gift you’ve ever received as a child? Unforunately I don't have a lot of childhood memories so I can't remember many specific gifts. I do remember the Christmas when all of us kids got the original Nintendo tho.. that was awesome. :) That and the gifts my Mom made were always the best!
Question 5: What is the biggest mistake you’ve ever made? Not walking away.
Question 6: Give four words to describe yourself. Honest, Empathy, Emotional, Loving
Question 7: What was your highlight or lowlight of 2008? Uhm.. 2008?.. gods, with my memories being all kinds of messed up thats difficult for me to do. I'd say meeting Patty and all the other people at "Three Arrows Ranch", it's made a huge impact and change in my life. OH GOODNESS and how could my crazy mind forget. The birth of my nephew!!!!!!!!!!!! I got to be there and it was amazing and beautiful and wonderful in every way possible.
Question 8: What was your most embarrassing moment? The first thing that came to mind when I read this was a time I accidently pee'd myself from laughing so hard. It was at a friends house I had in Seattle during a party at her house. It might've been a b-day party. Sooooooooo embarassing. I was pretty badly teased for it.
Question 9: Tell something not generally known about yourself. Uhmmmmm.. I have a totally irrational fear of having my toes pulled on - I feel like they'll dislocate if they're even gently pulled. When I get a pedicure I have to specifically mention not to pull on my toes when they're doing the foot massage.
Question 10: If you were a comic strip/cartoon character, who would you be? Are there any cartoon characters of Betty Page? :D ... I dunno, someone dark, sexy, and mysterious!
Sunday, August 16, 2009
Thursday, July 23, 2009
Thursday Thunks! It's that time again! .. Meme's!
1. You walk into a store and the cashier is being held up by a robber. The robber's accomplice is dead on the floor at your feet with a shotgun laying next to him. The robber does not see you, but the cashier does - what do you do? Not to be anal, but this would depend on a few things. How stressed out is the robber? Is he / she tweaking? Calm? Hands shaking? Seem trigger happy? How close is the shotgun to me? More than likely I'd try to quietly step behind one of the shelves and get to the floor while hitting the emergency 911 button my cell phone. I don't know how to use a gun, I'm not incredibly intimidating, and I'd probably end up getting shot or getting someone else shot if I tried to take control of the situation.
2. We go to an ice cream shop for an ice cream cone. You say you are buying and I am going to stay in the car. You ask me what I want and I say "surprise me", what kind of ice cream cone am I going to get? If I don't know you at all, I'm probably going to stick to something pretty basic or simple. If we've known each other for a while and you like chocolate, something fun for funky like Rocky Road, Mudslide, or Coffee Coffee Buzz Buzz Buzz.
3. You have a dream that your co-worker, friend or whoever is hit by a garbage truck after they back into a ladder with a black cat on it. The next day you see that person standing by a ladder with a black cat on it and there is a garbage truck driving down the road.... what do you do? Scream VERY loudly so I get their attention and get them to move far far away from the ladder, truck, cat, everything.
4. What is the most money you've won on a lottery or scratch off ticket? $100
5. A neighbor kid down the street comes to your door and offers to wash all of your windows outside for $10 - do you have him do it? Sure! I'll help out and clean windows are nice.
6. Go to Google Images. Type in the name of the last movie you saw. Post the first picture that comes up.
7. Your local animal shelter calls you and says there are 3 dogs that need an immediate foster home for 3 days. If you do not accept, the dogs are put down that day. Do you take them in? In a heartbeat, yes.
8. What is the messiest room in your home? Livingroom, by far.
9. Have you ever been to a wedding that participated in a strange tradition that you had never heard of? Yes, it was the receiption at a Thai wedding. During a dance, men (or women) would pin money to the brides wedding dress and dance with her for a few moments before the next person would pin money and start dancing with her. People were pinning $5, $10, $20, $50, $100 bills. I was young and thought it was SO cool.
10. Name one sport that you just don't get. Golf. I mean, I guess I understand why some people enjoy playing it.... but those who chose to watch it..... really people? I just don't get it. It's like watching paint dry to me.
11. What was the last email that came into your inbox about? It was the Marcaster Yahoo Group email, various posting from my SCA Group in the area.
12. Have you ever purchased anything from a sex shop? Extra points if you tell us what it was.... hahahahaha! Many times. Vibes and nipple clamps are two things I've bought that I'll tell you about.
13. Go back to that Google Images link... type in the last food item that you ate. Post the 2nd picture it comes up with.
14. Got any bumper stickers on your vehicle? What are they? nope, sure don't.
15. What meme question do you wish was never asked again? Hmmm... I don't really like it when a meme asks about when the last time I cried was, and why.
2. We go to an ice cream shop for an ice cream cone. You say you are buying and I am going to stay in the car. You ask me what I want and I say "surprise me", what kind of ice cream cone am I going to get? If I don't know you at all, I'm probably going to stick to something pretty basic or simple. If we've known each other for a while and you like chocolate, something fun for funky like Rocky Road, Mudslide, or Coffee Coffee Buzz Buzz Buzz.
3. You have a dream that your co-worker, friend or whoever is hit by a garbage truck after they back into a ladder with a black cat on it. The next day you see that person standing by a ladder with a black cat on it and there is a garbage truck driving down the road.... what do you do? Scream VERY loudly so I get their attention and get them to move far far away from the ladder, truck, cat, everything.
4. What is the most money you've won on a lottery or scratch off ticket? $100
5. A neighbor kid down the street comes to your door and offers to wash all of your windows outside for $10 - do you have him do it? Sure! I'll help out and clean windows are nice.
6. Go to Google Images. Type in the name of the last movie you saw. Post the first picture that comes up.
7. Your local animal shelter calls you and says there are 3 dogs that need an immediate foster home for 3 days. If you do not accept, the dogs are put down that day. Do you take them in? In a heartbeat, yes.
8. What is the messiest room in your home? Livingroom, by far.
9. Have you ever been to a wedding that participated in a strange tradition that you had never heard of? Yes, it was the receiption at a Thai wedding. During a dance, men (or women) would pin money to the brides wedding dress and dance with her for a few moments before the next person would pin money and start dancing with her. People were pinning $5, $10, $20, $50, $100 bills. I was young and thought it was SO cool.
10. Name one sport that you just don't get. Golf. I mean, I guess I understand why some people enjoy playing it.... but those who chose to watch it..... really people? I just don't get it. It's like watching paint dry to me.
11. What was the last email that came into your inbox about? It was the Marcaster Yahoo Group email, various posting from my SCA Group in the area.
12. Have you ever purchased anything from a sex shop? Extra points if you tell us what it was.... hahahahaha! Many times. Vibes and nipple clamps are two things I've bought that I'll tell you about.
13. Go back to that Google Images link... type in the last food item that you ate. Post the 2nd picture it comes up with.
14. Got any bumper stickers on your vehicle? What are they? nope, sure don't.
15. What meme question do you wish was never asked again? Hmmm... I don't really like it when a meme asks about when the last time I cried was, and why.
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Wednesday's Meme appears to be broken.. so Rachology it is.
Or at least they haven't posted a new questionnaire since the beginning of July ... ah well. This is one I took from a Facebook post. It's supposed to be named Rachology as the title says, but I think that word looks really freaky weird. Maybe that's just me.
Anyway, here we go:
**********FOODOLOGY***************
1. What is your salad dressing of choice?
Most of the time Reduced Fat Italian
2. What is your favorite sit-down restaurant?
Not Your Average Joe's, it's a chain in the Boston area. I need to find a new restaurant that I absolutely love down in Florida.
3. What food could you eat every day for two weeks and not get sick of?
Beef - Various forms of steak. It'd be horribly bad for me to do that, but there are some many different flavors in the different cuts of meat. Mmmmm... red meat.
4. What are your pizza toppings of choice?
I like Supreme Pizzas - most everything piled on. Just no anchovies. Yeck!
5.What do you like to put on your toast?
Butter and Strawberry Jelly
6. Any vegetables you don't like?
Any that come in a can. They either need to be fresh or frozen.
7. Do you eat seafood?
OMG yes. Love it.
***********TECHNOLOGY***************
1. How many televisions are in your house?
hahaha. 5. However only 2 of them are used.
2. What color cell phone do you have?
black
3. How long would it take you to look up who invented the Rubber band?
uh, probably about 10 seconds. Google.
4. Have any idea how may Megahertz your computer has?
No clue, I could find out, but I'm not going looking right now.
***************BIOLOGY******************
1. Are you right-handed or left-handed?
Both. I write with my Left hand, but do most everything else with my Right hand.
2. Have you ever had anything removed from your body?
Yep. Spleen. Tonsils. Splinters. Adhesions.
3. What is the last heavy item you lifted?
Some of the boxes when I moved my stuff over to Cait's place.
4. Have you ever been knocked unconscious?
Knocked out? No, fainted, yes.
************BULLCRAPOLOGY**************
1. If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die?
Hell No!
2. If you could change your name, what would you change it to?
My first and middle name, I wouldn't want to change. My last name, right now back to Herget.
3. Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for $1000?
Yep.
************DUMBOLOGY******************
1. How many pairs of flip flops do you own?
none. I don't like the little part that goes between your toes.
2. Last time you had a run-in with the cops?
Uhmmmmm... don't remember. Long time ago.
3. Last person you talked to?
Cait and Owen before I laid down.
4. Last person you hugged?
Joy at pottery.
**************FAVORITOLOGY****************
1. Season ?
Fall and the Spring. When it's warm, but not HOT.
2. Holiday?
Christmas and Halloween
3. Day of the week?
Saturday
4. Month?
May ? I guess.
***********CURRENTOLOGY*****************
1. Missing someone?
Yes. OMG yes.
2. Mood?
Tired.
3. What are you listening to?
the hum of my laptop
4. Watching?
uhm... my computer screen?
***************RANDOMOLOGY*****************
1. First place you went this morning?
My desk to sign in for work. First place out of the house, Dunkin Donuts for coffee.
2. What's the last movie you saw?
The Proposal. It was awesome.
3. Do you smile often?
Recently, yes. :)
***************OTHEROLOGY*****************
1. Do you always answer your phone?
Nope
2. It's four in the morning and you get a text message, who is it?
Could be a few people. The immediate person who comes to mind right now is Sean. :)
3. If you could change your eye color what would it be?
Wouldn't want to.
4. Do you prefer cold or hot?
Cooler but not cold.
5. What's your favorite gossip magazine?
Err... don't have one
6. Have you ever had a pet fish?
Yep, goldfish and betafish.
8. What's on your wish list for your birthday?
I dunno, way to early to think about that.
9. Can you do push ups?
Girly ones.
10. Can you do a chin up?
Nope
11. Does the future make you more nervous or excited?
Excited!
12. Do you have any saved texts?
Yep :)
13. Ever been in a car wreck?
Yes
14. Do you have an accent?
Nope
15. What is the last song to make you cry?
Don't remember. Butterfly kisses used to make me cry all the time.
16. Plans tonight?
Sleep!
17. Have you ever felt like you hit rock bottom?
Yeah
18. Name 3 things you bought yesterday.
Coffee, Muffin, aaaaaaaaaaaaand I don't think anything else.
19. Have you ever been given roses?
Yes - I love roses among other flowers.
20. Current worry?
Sean's transfer. If it'll work out. If we need to make a different plan. Etc.
21. Current hate right now?
I try not to hate anything, but right now I'm disliking work a lot.
22. Met someone who changed your life?
Yes, a lot of people have changed my life.
23. How will you bring in the New Year?
No idea at this point. New Years Eve is a ways off.
24. What song represents you?
Bitch by Meredith Brooks, haha
25. Name three people who might complete this?
I'm posting it to my blog, not for others to do, unless they want to take it.
26. Would you go back in time if you were given the chance?
Hmmm.. maybe? I think so but probably just so I could reexperience some things I've forgotten.
27. Have you ever dated someone longer than a year?
Yep
28. Do you have any tattoos/piercings?
yes
30. Does anyone love you?
yes
31. Ever had someone sing to you?
yes
32. When did you last cry??
couple nights ago
33. Do you like to cuddle?
I'm a HUGE cuddler. I'm a snuggle cuddle maniac.
34. Have you held hands with anyone today?
nope
35. What kind of music did you listen to in elementary school?
no idea. I don't remember things from that age.
36. Do you like pulpy orange juice?
Yes! .. Mmm.
Anyway, here we go:
**********FOODOLOGY***************
1. What is your salad dressing of choice?
Most of the time Reduced Fat Italian
2. What is your favorite sit-down restaurant?
Not Your Average Joe's, it's a chain in the Boston area. I need to find a new restaurant that I absolutely love down in Florida.
3. What food could you eat every day for two weeks and not get sick of?
Beef - Various forms of steak. It'd be horribly bad for me to do that, but there are some many different flavors in the different cuts of meat. Mmmmm... red meat.
4. What are your pizza toppings of choice?
I like Supreme Pizzas - most everything piled on. Just no anchovies. Yeck!
5.What do you like to put on your toast?
Butter and Strawberry Jelly
6. Any vegetables you don't like?
Any that come in a can. They either need to be fresh or frozen.
7. Do you eat seafood?
OMG yes. Love it.
***********TECHNOLOGY***************
1. How many televisions are in your house?
hahaha. 5. However only 2 of them are used.
2. What color cell phone do you have?
black
3. How long would it take you to look up who invented the Rubber band?
uh, probably about 10 seconds. Google.
4. Have any idea how may Megahertz your computer has?
No clue, I could find out, but I'm not going looking right now.
***************BIOLOGY******************
1. Are you right-handed or left-handed?
Both. I write with my Left hand, but do most everything else with my Right hand.
2. Have you ever had anything removed from your body?
Yep. Spleen. Tonsils. Splinters. Adhesions.
3. What is the last heavy item you lifted?
Some of the boxes when I moved my stuff over to Cait's place.
4. Have you ever been knocked unconscious?
Knocked out? No, fainted, yes.
************BULLCRAPOLOGY**************
1. If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die?
Hell No!
2. If you could change your name, what would you change it to?
My first and middle name, I wouldn't want to change. My last name, right now back to Herget.
3. Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for $1000?
Yep.
************DUMBOLOGY******************
1. How many pairs of flip flops do you own?
none. I don't like the little part that goes between your toes.
2. Last time you had a run-in with the cops?
Uhmmmmm... don't remember. Long time ago.
3. Last person you talked to?
Cait and Owen before I laid down.
4. Last person you hugged?
Joy at pottery.
**************FAVORITOLOGY****************
1. Season ?
Fall and the Spring. When it's warm, but not HOT.
2. Holiday?
Christmas and Halloween
3. Day of the week?
Saturday
4. Month?
May ? I guess.
***********CURRENTOLOGY*****************
1. Missing someone?
Yes. OMG yes.
2. Mood?
Tired.
3. What are you listening to?
the hum of my laptop
4. Watching?
uhm... my computer screen?
***************RANDOMOLOGY*****************
1. First place you went this morning?
My desk to sign in for work. First place out of the house, Dunkin Donuts for coffee.
2. What's the last movie you saw?
The Proposal. It was awesome.
3. Do you smile often?
Recently, yes. :)
***************OTHEROLOGY*****************
1. Do you always answer your phone?
Nope
2. It's four in the morning and you get a text message, who is it?
Could be a few people. The immediate person who comes to mind right now is Sean. :)
3. If you could change your eye color what would it be?
Wouldn't want to.
4. Do you prefer cold or hot?
Cooler but not cold.
5. What's your favorite gossip magazine?
Err... don't have one
6. Have you ever had a pet fish?
Yep, goldfish and betafish.
8. What's on your wish list for your birthday?
I dunno, way to early to think about that.
9. Can you do push ups?
Girly ones.
10. Can you do a chin up?
Nope
11. Does the future make you more nervous or excited?
Excited!
12. Do you have any saved texts?
Yep :)
13. Ever been in a car wreck?
Yes
14. Do you have an accent?
Nope
15. What is the last song to make you cry?
Don't remember. Butterfly kisses used to make me cry all the time.
16. Plans tonight?
Sleep!
17. Have you ever felt like you hit rock bottom?
Yeah
18. Name 3 things you bought yesterday.
Coffee, Muffin, aaaaaaaaaaaaand I don't think anything else.
19. Have you ever been given roses?
Yes - I love roses among other flowers.
20. Current worry?
Sean's transfer. If it'll work out. If we need to make a different plan. Etc.
21. Current hate right now?
I try not to hate anything, but right now I'm disliking work a lot.
22. Met someone who changed your life?
Yes, a lot of people have changed my life.
23. How will you bring in the New Year?
No idea at this point. New Years Eve is a ways off.
24. What song represents you?
Bitch by Meredith Brooks, haha
25. Name three people who might complete this?
I'm posting it to my blog, not for others to do, unless they want to take it.
26. Would you go back in time if you were given the chance?
Hmmm.. maybe? I think so but probably just so I could reexperience some things I've forgotten.
27. Have you ever dated someone longer than a year?
Yep
28. Do you have any tattoos/piercings?
yes
30. Does anyone love you?
yes
31. Ever had someone sing to you?
yes
32. When did you last cry??
couple nights ago
33. Do you like to cuddle?
I'm a HUGE cuddler. I'm a snuggle cuddle maniac.
34. Have you held hands with anyone today?
nope
35. What kind of music did you listen to in elementary school?
no idea. I don't remember things from that age.
36. Do you like pulpy orange juice?
Yes! .. Mmm.
Pickles!
Ok, so I couldn't think of a good title. I seldom can, so I'm just going to blurt whatever comes to mind if I'm having a blank moment.
My honey got home from his trip to Iowa today. Yay! Safe and sound after another 22 hour long drive. Whew! We got to talk tonight for longer than we have for the last week and it was great. He also showed me the present he got for me while he was in Iowa. hehe. We both couldn't wait for the surprise. I LOVE IT! I've never really been able to do the name brand clothes thing as I haven't really been able to afford it or justify to myself spending a lot on myself for clothes. Well, he had mentioned getting me something name brand eventually and did. WOOOOT!.. Who's a lucky woman? I AM! It's a super cute white, pink, green, fuzzy comfy outfit from Victoria Secret, from the "PINK" clothing line. OMG I can't wait to get it in the mail, it looks so comfy. It's a lighter weight hoody that says "FREE HUGS" in bold letters across the back and then long pants that side "LOVE PINK" down the side. It's got other super cute details too. I'll totally take pictures and put them up once I have them. I'm totally psych'd. :) OH! .. In fact, now that I think of it. I can link a picture from the VS website. Here we go!
...and.....
I have the bestest boyfriend in the whole wide world. :) I've been grinning ear to ear since I spoke with him earlier tonight.
My honey got home from his trip to Iowa today. Yay! Safe and sound after another 22 hour long drive. Whew! We got to talk tonight for longer than we have for the last week and it was great. He also showed me the present he got for me while he was in Iowa. hehe. We both couldn't wait for the surprise. I LOVE IT! I've never really been able to do the name brand clothes thing as I haven't really been able to afford it or justify to myself spending a lot on myself for clothes. Well, he had mentioned getting me something name brand eventually and did. WOOOOT!.. Who's a lucky woman? I AM! It's a super cute white, pink, green, fuzzy comfy outfit from Victoria Secret, from the "PINK" clothing line. OMG I can't wait to get it in the mail, it looks so comfy. It's a lighter weight hoody that says "FREE HUGS" in bold letters across the back and then long pants that side "LOVE PINK" down the side. It's got other super cute details too. I'll totally take pictures and put them up once I have them. I'm totally psych'd. :) OH! .. In fact, now that I think of it. I can link a picture from the VS website. Here we go!
...and.....
I have the bestest boyfriend in the whole wide world. :) I've been grinning ear to ear since I spoke with him earlier tonight.
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Writing again..
So... I haven't written in a long while... there are several reasons for that. Mostly because I didn't want some people who know about my blog reading about what I had to say. I know, I know, then why journal online? Eh, one of the main reasons is because I type a lot better than I write - not to mention a lot faster. Secondary reason is that when it's saved on the internet it seems to never go away. (which might be a bad thing). I've written in books before and written on hard drives before - a couple of both have been lost - so I write here. And yes, I know my puncuation and spelling sucks, but it's allowed to here.
I think I've mostly decided that I'm not going to write a lot of detail about super emotional personal stuff here; but hell that may change too.
Biggest update. Dave and I are getting a divorce. I moved out at the end of April and then told him at the end of May that I wanted the divorce. There are multiple reasons and sadly he and I don't see eye to eye on most all of those reasons. My biggest heartache about the divorce is losing someone who was my best friend for 7 years. There is no one that has really stood by me in the way Dave did for those years and I will never feel ungrateful for all the support and love he always showed me. He really is such a good person. He's just not one that I'm in love with anymore.
Dave is now dating someone else and has been for a couple of months. I'm also seeing someone else, Sean. I've fallen hard and fast ... it's scary in a lot of ways ... and it's not something I expected at all. The last moment I expected to meet someone so wonderful would be while going through a divorce. I'm not going to go to far into detail about things with he and I at the moment. We'll just say for now that I'm very happy with where things seem to be leading with this very special man.
I've been keeping myself busy. My work with the horses has picked back up and is quite involved. I technically have 5 horses that I'm currently working with or riding, but I'm only riding 2 of them occasionally right now. Katie - I ride out at Patti's barn, but Patti is also doing a lot of work with her for the upcoming show season. Joshua - is my newest project and the one I'm riding the most, he's owned by a woman named Sue that I was introduced to by Patti. Sadie - Is another one of Sue's horses that I ride occasionally. Both Joshua and Sadie are fairly well trained in English and Sue (owner) would like them slowed down for Western, so I'm helping her work on that. I'm bringing Joshua to a lesson clinic Saturday evening. Finally I occasionally ride Blue and Suede. Arthur and Lynn are their owners. They'd like me to work with them a lot more this fall as Arthur will be very busy running his hurricane repair business. It's crazy busy and I love it, but I'm hoping to get settled in to working with only 1 or 2 horses soon so I can show that one specific horse during the show season. I dunno, we'll see how it goes.
I'm dealing with a horrific bout of insomnia recently. I don't really sleep well anymore period. I was hoping that writing would start to get me tired tonight but it seems to have been an idle hope. I've been seeing a therapist down here and the last time I spoke with her she suggested trying to find some hypnotherapy CD's for helping me to get to sleep or stay asleep. I haven't done that yet, but it really might be worth a shot. The lack of good sleep has been messing with my work schedule, and wreaking havic on my emotions. I'm keeping most of the emotional crap contained as I don't want it to bug others and well, for the most part it's not a huge deal and I can handle things fine ... but it's still starting to stress me out.
Anyhow, I'm going to sign out for now, maybe read for a bit and if that doesn't work take half of a sleeping pill to try and help me reach sleep.
P.S. Ewoks are da'bomb.
I think I've mostly decided that I'm not going to write a lot of detail about super emotional personal stuff here; but hell that may change too.
Biggest update. Dave and I are getting a divorce. I moved out at the end of April and then told him at the end of May that I wanted the divorce. There are multiple reasons and sadly he and I don't see eye to eye on most all of those reasons. My biggest heartache about the divorce is losing someone who was my best friend for 7 years. There is no one that has really stood by me in the way Dave did for those years and I will never feel ungrateful for all the support and love he always showed me. He really is such a good person. He's just not one that I'm in love with anymore.
Dave is now dating someone else and has been for a couple of months. I'm also seeing someone else, Sean. I've fallen hard and fast ... it's scary in a lot of ways ... and it's not something I expected at all. The last moment I expected to meet someone so wonderful would be while going through a divorce. I'm not going to go to far into detail about things with he and I at the moment. We'll just say for now that I'm very happy with where things seem to be leading with this very special man.
I've been keeping myself busy. My work with the horses has picked back up and is quite involved. I technically have 5 horses that I'm currently working with or riding, but I'm only riding 2 of them occasionally right now. Katie - I ride out at Patti's barn, but Patti is also doing a lot of work with her for the upcoming show season. Joshua - is my newest project and the one I'm riding the most, he's owned by a woman named Sue that I was introduced to by Patti. Sadie - Is another one of Sue's horses that I ride occasionally. Both Joshua and Sadie are fairly well trained in English and Sue (owner) would like them slowed down for Western, so I'm helping her work on that. I'm bringing Joshua to a lesson clinic Saturday evening. Finally I occasionally ride Blue and Suede. Arthur and Lynn are their owners. They'd like me to work with them a lot more this fall as Arthur will be very busy running his hurricane repair business. It's crazy busy and I love it, but I'm hoping to get settled in to working with only 1 or 2 horses soon so I can show that one specific horse during the show season. I dunno, we'll see how it goes.
I'm dealing with a horrific bout of insomnia recently. I don't really sleep well anymore period. I was hoping that writing would start to get me tired tonight but it seems to have been an idle hope. I've been seeing a therapist down here and the last time I spoke with her she suggested trying to find some hypnotherapy CD's for helping me to get to sleep or stay asleep. I haven't done that yet, but it really might be worth a shot. The lack of good sleep has been messing with my work schedule, and wreaking havic on my emotions. I'm keeping most of the emotional crap contained as I don't want it to bug others and well, for the most part it's not a huge deal and I can handle things fine ... but it's still starting to stress me out.
Anyhow, I'm going to sign out for now, maybe read for a bit and if that doesn't work take half of a sleeping pill to try and help me reach sleep.
P.S. Ewoks are da'bomb.
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
Time to write after a month off
It's late and I honestly don't know how much I will write, but I've been thinking about it on and off all day so I figured it was a good sign that I was in need of writing again.
I wish I could say things were better. If anything things are more confusing right now than I think they ever have been in my life. I don't know, maybe not. I had some pretty bad years with my ex, but I don't think those were really confusing for me, I was pretty messed up then so I kinda just went with whatever the ex said. *shudder* Ok, moving on from that subject.
My ankle and knee are doing better and improving slowly, but well. My orthopedic doctor was very pleased with my progress when I saw him on 4/27. I start physical therapy this Thursday and I'm hoping that maybe, just maybe, with PT I'll be able to go back to riding in a month? It should hopefully be possible. I have to wear the immobilization boot very seldom now which is a relief; I just have to be very aware of where I'm stepping (no uneven ground) and very careful overall. I still get quite a bit of achy pain when I rotate the ankle or am on my feet for more than a few minutes at a time, but I'm told that's all a normal part of the healing process. The weather here has been beautiful and I would love a chance to get out more, but right now I need to limit myself to short walks in the sunlight of about 5 minutes. If I push it I'm asking for a day of pain, being back in the immobilizer for that day, and a swollen ankle and foot. However, I have been trying to spend at least 15 minutes a day in the sunlight in one way or another. It's supposed to help with the blues and be good for the soul right?
Dave and I are now more or less officially separated. He started feeling better, I progressively started feeling worse. I have a lot of frustrations that have built up over the years and when we took time apart, I think it gave me some space to think over everything, and now, I'm just stuck. I don't know what I want anymore. I do know that I'm SO TIRED of always saying "I don't know" because it seems to be the answer in my head to everything I'm asked. Two days ago I moved into a friends place for about a month, probably 6 weeks at most. It's a decision that I made, and Dave accepted the best he could, as I feel I'm not going to be able to figure this out without additional space and time to think. He and I are still 'dating' while I'm in this location. We have plans to see a movie tomorrow and we'll be going to an SCA Event together this upcoming weekend. We both started seeing a marriage counsellor who is currently meeting with us separately. She feels that for right now until we each work through some of our individual problems its the best idea. She advised me this last week to stop trying to rush myself. I'm so desperate to have the right answer that I'm causing myself anxiety attacks and constant stress. So, my new focus for at least the next couple of weeks is to concentrate on one day at a time; to not let anyone push me into making a quick decision, to not try and force myself to come up with all of the answers.
Each day I feel a bit different. Today is another self-hatred day of feeling like I'm just not trying hard enough; that if I was a good person, a good wife, I wouldn't ever consider the possibility of divorce. Yet here I am, on a fence, looking both ways and having no idea which side I'm supposed to land on. The constant turmoil is enough to drive a person insane. How do people know? How do people actually make decisions like this? Right now I'm stuck with feeling it's not possible to make a decision and I'll be in limbo land forever.
I wish I could say things were better. If anything things are more confusing right now than I think they ever have been in my life. I don't know, maybe not. I had some pretty bad years with my ex, but I don't think those were really confusing for me, I was pretty messed up then so I kinda just went with whatever the ex said. *shudder* Ok, moving on from that subject.
My ankle and knee are doing better and improving slowly, but well. My orthopedic doctor was very pleased with my progress when I saw him on 4/27. I start physical therapy this Thursday and I'm hoping that maybe, just maybe, with PT I'll be able to go back to riding in a month? It should hopefully be possible. I have to wear the immobilization boot very seldom now which is a relief; I just have to be very aware of where I'm stepping (no uneven ground) and very careful overall. I still get quite a bit of achy pain when I rotate the ankle or am on my feet for more than a few minutes at a time, but I'm told that's all a normal part of the healing process. The weather here has been beautiful and I would love a chance to get out more, but right now I need to limit myself to short walks in the sunlight of about 5 minutes. If I push it I'm asking for a day of pain, being back in the immobilizer for that day, and a swollen ankle and foot. However, I have been trying to spend at least 15 minutes a day in the sunlight in one way or another. It's supposed to help with the blues and be good for the soul right?
Dave and I are now more or less officially separated. He started feeling better, I progressively started feeling worse. I have a lot of frustrations that have built up over the years and when we took time apart, I think it gave me some space to think over everything, and now, I'm just stuck. I don't know what I want anymore. I do know that I'm SO TIRED of always saying "I don't know" because it seems to be the answer in my head to everything I'm asked. Two days ago I moved into a friends place for about a month, probably 6 weeks at most. It's a decision that I made, and Dave accepted the best he could, as I feel I'm not going to be able to figure this out without additional space and time to think. He and I are still 'dating' while I'm in this location. We have plans to see a movie tomorrow and we'll be going to an SCA Event together this upcoming weekend. We both started seeing a marriage counsellor who is currently meeting with us separately. She feels that for right now until we each work through some of our individual problems its the best idea. She advised me this last week to stop trying to rush myself. I'm so desperate to have the right answer that I'm causing myself anxiety attacks and constant stress. So, my new focus for at least the next couple of weeks is to concentrate on one day at a time; to not let anyone push me into making a quick decision, to not try and force myself to come up with all of the answers.
Each day I feel a bit different. Today is another self-hatred day of feeling like I'm just not trying hard enough; that if I was a good person, a good wife, I wouldn't ever consider the possibility of divorce. Yet here I am, on a fence, looking both ways and having no idea which side I'm supposed to land on. The constant turmoil is enough to drive a person insane. How do people know? How do people actually make decisions like this? Right now I'm stuck with feeling it's not possible to make a decision and I'll be in limbo land forever.
Sunday, April 5, 2009
Torn
I feel like my emotions have gone completely haywire. I know there are a lot of reasons for it. Let's make a list.. shall we? Sure, lists are sometimes good - besides, it lets me vent:
I'm PMSing
I'm temporarily crippled and housebound
I'm missing Boston and my friends
I'm going through Gulf War withdrawls
I want to be closer to my Fayne Family as I always want to be this time of year
I'm missing what started to be a great friendship that I can't continue
I'm on pain meds that leave me tired and groggy
I'm missing my horse and being able to ride
I *know* that it's going to be months before I can ride again and it kills me
I'm feeling sorry for myself and it pisses me off
I have a husband sleeping in a separate bedroom
I miss my nephew who's way to far away from me
I miss my blood family who are all in the Arizona and Seattle area
I'm in pain even with the meds because I don't want to take them that often
I'm not currently working which makes me worry
Dave is still out of good work and is incredibly stressed and depressed
I haven't been able to take a shower in 5 days and its disgusting! Wipe down baths just don't do it people
I'm overwhelmed ........ gods I'm just so overwhelmed
We had the boys for a night this weekend which was good. It brought a change in the routine. A friend of ours invited us over for dinner and for the boys to go swimming in her pool. She and her husband took care of me and babied me which gave Dave a good break from it; plus the kids had a really great time in her pool. We have a pool at our complex but this made it so we could have a couple of drinks, relax, and hang out with our friends without the noise of neighbors and the need to sit out publicly with the community.
I'm PMSing
I'm temporarily crippled and housebound
I'm missing Boston and my friends
I'm going through Gulf War withdrawls
I want to be closer to my Fayne Family as I always want to be this time of year
I'm missing what started to be a great friendship that I can't continue
I'm on pain meds that leave me tired and groggy
I'm missing my horse and being able to ride
I *know* that it's going to be months before I can ride again and it kills me
I'm feeling sorry for myself and it pisses me off
I have a husband sleeping in a separate bedroom
I miss my nephew who's way to far away from me
I miss my blood family who are all in the Arizona and Seattle area
I'm in pain even with the meds because I don't want to take them that often
I'm not currently working which makes me worry
Dave is still out of good work and is incredibly stressed and depressed
I haven't been able to take a shower in 5 days and its disgusting! Wipe down baths just don't do it people
I'm overwhelmed ........ gods I'm just so overwhelmed
We had the boys for a night this weekend which was good. It brought a change in the routine. A friend of ours invited us over for dinner and for the boys to go swimming in her pool. She and her husband took care of me and babied me which gave Dave a good break from it; plus the kids had a really great time in her pool. We have a pool at our complex but this made it so we could have a couple of drinks, relax, and hang out with our friends without the noise of neighbors and the need to sit out publicly with the community.
Thursday, April 2, 2009
An update on my injury...
An update ......
First, thank you everyone for your well wishes. I really appreciate it. It's going to be a long road of recovery and I'm not looking too forward to it. I've been basically bedridden for only 3 days and I feel like I'm ready to jump out of my skin already.
I saw the orthopedic surgeon today and absolutely hated him. If anyone is ever down in the Clearwater, FL area and someone refers you to a Dr. Morris for ortho surgery, request someone else! Overall I believe he did what was needed, but I'm going to speak with a friend of mine about getting a second opinion.
Overall information first and then I'll tell you about the doctors appointment and why the Doctor pissed me off so bad:
1) Rebel (horse) is doing pretty good. His front left knee is pretty swollen and he has a few scrapes, but he came out of the accident fairly well. Thank god. I'd be even more of a wreck if anything had happened to him.
2) It will be at minimum 2 months before I have the view from the back of a horse again. (yes, of course it was one of my first questions). For those who have ridden, you know that the majority of your strength from riding comes from your legs. Not only do your muscles need to be in good shape, but your joints as well as your ankles and knees are bent at specific angles and rotated for various control.
3) As of today, I do not need surgery. WOOHOO! I'll have a recheck in 2 weeks and the final determination will be made at that time. If I need surgery anywhere, it's likely going to be my knee. My knee has more damage to it than initially thought.
4) My ankle is now stabilized in a cushion surrounded by steel boot. While it's heavy and a pain to hobble around in, it's also great! Between the cushion and the steel, my ankle is completely immobilized. This includes when I put some pressure on the foot, which is allowing me to place my foot down while using the crutches. I have a much greater amount of stability and a lot less pain due to the very limited / no motion of the foot any longer. Yay for that!
Ok, so why this Doctor is a complete loser. I got to my appointment and got back to the exam room no problem. The nurses were all great and very patient with me, given that I move very slow on the crutches. After about 5 minutes in the room I hear a deeper voiced gentleman talking on the phone outside the room and I 'jokingly' said to Dave, that must be my Doctor. I was actually pretty happy with the fact because I figured it'd be a couple minutes more and then he'd be in the room with me .. woohoo! No no no. His phone conversation lasted about another 15 minutes, and this 15 minute conversation wasn't all medical. It started that way, but then it turned into a very chatty, visiting with a friend type of conversation. Ok ... so I'm starting to get annoyed.
Finally, he gets off the phone and I'm thinking 'Thank God, he's coming.. ". NOPE! He stood around in the hall, right outside the door of the exam room, chit chatting with the nurses and other Doctors for another 15-20 minutes. About skiing, and steak, and this amazing shrimp he had that tasted so good it was like lobster with every bite and how his two favorite hobbies were skiing and eating!!!!!!! .. On and on and on!!!!!!!! I would've left if my injury wasn't so severe and I thought I could quickly see someone else. However, I knew both of those things would take more time so I decided to suck it up.
So, after 30-40 minutes of listening to his chitchat, he comes into the room and introduces himself and asks me to get up onto the table. (I had taken a seat in the chair as the nurse suggested due to my inability to get onto the table). I looked at him with kind of a blank stare for a moment and explained that I couldn't put any weight on the foot/leg and so I couldn't get onto the table. He looked at Dave and then me and said you've got this man here with you, I'm sure you can manage it okay, said he'd be right back, and left. Ooooooook....... so, with Dave's assistance, I did get up onto the flat table with very little problem. Ok, he was right about that, no biggie. He comes back in and asks me to turn around on the table so I'm facing the other way. (my leg was on the far side of him, silly error on my part) As I start to swing around he grabs ahold of my bad ankle to try and assist me and I froze. I calmly explained that him holding onto my ankle hurts ... he continues to try and help me turn while holding my ankle ... I explain again to *PLEASE* let go of my ankle because it hurts and I'll shift around. He dense brain finally understands and I turn and lay down facing the other direction. At this point as I'm sure you all can understand, I'm concerned and worried. Mr Morris (since I don't even feel he deserves to be called Doctor anymore) seems very distracted and hurried, BUT I think to myself, the exam will be over soon, so I can make it through this and go from there.
I explain to Mister Morris my accident, what happened, and the type of pain I've been in. He starts by trying to lay my leg flat. I explain I can't do that because my heel will be pressing down on the table and pressure on the heel hurts too. He seems annoyed by this point. So he props a small pillow under my calf to make it so I can straighten at the knee completely....... and he starts to prod my knee. Ok, let me clarify that I understand that an exam of an injury hurts, it can really hurt sometimes because the Doctor is trying to figure out how severe the problem is, HOWEVER, if the Doctor is a good Doctor they tend to listen to their patient and make sure they're not going to kill them in the process. As Mr. Morris began examining my knee I instantly tensed up because it was instantly very painful, I very clearly said, that's really really hurting while gasping at the small prods he was making. He muttered in my direction, "I know I know.. I need to do the exam though.. give me a moment". He then proceeded to push HARD down on the knee. I didn't grunt, groan, gasp ... I screamed. You can ask Dave or anyone else that knows me, I pretty much don't scream, especially in a Doctors office as it'd be embarassing, but it hurt just that bad. I screamed and instantly burst into tears and begged him, "please.. please please stop ... you're hurting me so bad". Low and behold that did get through to him and he stopped and moved onto my ankle. Thankfully he only did small rotations and softer prodding in that area to get his 'exam' done.
He ordered a few more xrays, left the room, and I turned to Dave who looked ready to go after the guy and tear his head off and said, "He might as well have thrown the damn horse on me again with how badly he just hurt me."
The new xrays were also negative and that was pretty much the end of the traumatizing experience. His kind and gentle nurses took care of the rest thank God. They scheduled me for a 2 week followup (which won't be kept) and I was on my way in my new, heavy, clunky, but comfortable steel boot.
Anyhow, I'll be writing a letter to the Doctor who referred me to him, because I think that Dr (who was very kind) should know what an idiot this guy is and I'll also be finding out if there's a clinic manager that I can write to at the location Mr. Morris works at. Mr. Morris who's at least 70 years old and should have retired 45 years ago based on what I saw of his care today.
Thanks again for your support everyone ... I'll keep you all update to date!
First, thank you everyone for your well wishes. I really appreciate it. It's going to be a long road of recovery and I'm not looking too forward to it. I've been basically bedridden for only 3 days and I feel like I'm ready to jump out of my skin already.
I saw the orthopedic surgeon today and absolutely hated him. If anyone is ever down in the Clearwater, FL area and someone refers you to a Dr. Morris for ortho surgery, request someone else! Overall I believe he did what was needed, but I'm going to speak with a friend of mine about getting a second opinion.
Overall information first and then I'll tell you about the doctors appointment and why the Doctor pissed me off so bad:
1) Rebel (horse) is doing pretty good. His front left knee is pretty swollen and he has a few scrapes, but he came out of the accident fairly well. Thank god. I'd be even more of a wreck if anything had happened to him.
2) It will be at minimum 2 months before I have the view from the back of a horse again. (yes, of course it was one of my first questions). For those who have ridden, you know that the majority of your strength from riding comes from your legs. Not only do your muscles need to be in good shape, but your joints as well as your ankles and knees are bent at specific angles and rotated for various control.
3) As of today, I do not need surgery. WOOHOO! I'll have a recheck in 2 weeks and the final determination will be made at that time. If I need surgery anywhere, it's likely going to be my knee. My knee has more damage to it than initially thought.
4) My ankle is now stabilized in a cushion surrounded by steel boot. While it's heavy and a pain to hobble around in, it's also great! Between the cushion and the steel, my ankle is completely immobilized. This includes when I put some pressure on the foot, which is allowing me to place my foot down while using the crutches. I have a much greater amount of stability and a lot less pain due to the very limited / no motion of the foot any longer. Yay for that!
Ok, so why this Doctor is a complete loser. I got to my appointment and got back to the exam room no problem. The nurses were all great and very patient with me, given that I move very slow on the crutches. After about 5 minutes in the room I hear a deeper voiced gentleman talking on the phone outside the room and I 'jokingly' said to Dave, that must be my Doctor. I was actually pretty happy with the fact because I figured it'd be a couple minutes more and then he'd be in the room with me .. woohoo! No no no. His phone conversation lasted about another 15 minutes, and this 15 minute conversation wasn't all medical. It started that way, but then it turned into a very chatty, visiting with a friend type of conversation. Ok ... so I'm starting to get annoyed.
Finally, he gets off the phone and I'm thinking 'Thank God, he's coming.. ". NOPE! He stood around in the hall, right outside the door of the exam room, chit chatting with the nurses and other Doctors for another 15-20 minutes. About skiing, and steak, and this amazing shrimp he had that tasted so good it was like lobster with every bite and how his two favorite hobbies were skiing and eating!!!!!!! .. On and on and on!!!!!!!! I would've left if my injury wasn't so severe and I thought I could quickly see someone else. However, I knew both of those things would take more time so I decided to suck it up.
So, after 30-40 minutes of listening to his chitchat, he comes into the room and introduces himself and asks me to get up onto the table. (I had taken a seat in the chair as the nurse suggested due to my inability to get onto the table). I looked at him with kind of a blank stare for a moment and explained that I couldn't put any weight on the foot/leg and so I couldn't get onto the table. He looked at Dave and then me and said you've got this man here with you, I'm sure you can manage it okay, said he'd be right back, and left. Ooooooook....... so, with Dave's assistance, I did get up onto the flat table with very little problem. Ok, he was right about that, no biggie. He comes back in and asks me to turn around on the table so I'm facing the other way. (my leg was on the far side of him, silly error on my part) As I start to swing around he grabs ahold of my bad ankle to try and assist me and I froze. I calmly explained that him holding onto my ankle hurts ... he continues to try and help me turn while holding my ankle ... I explain again to *PLEASE* let go of my ankle because it hurts and I'll shift around. He dense brain finally understands and I turn and lay down facing the other direction. At this point as I'm sure you all can understand, I'm concerned and worried. Mr Morris (since I don't even feel he deserves to be called Doctor anymore) seems very distracted and hurried, BUT I think to myself, the exam will be over soon, so I can make it through this and go from there.
I explain to Mister Morris my accident, what happened, and the type of pain I've been in. He starts by trying to lay my leg flat. I explain I can't do that because my heel will be pressing down on the table and pressure on the heel hurts too. He seems annoyed by this point. So he props a small pillow under my calf to make it so I can straighten at the knee completely....... and he starts to prod my knee. Ok, let me clarify that I understand that an exam of an injury hurts, it can really hurt sometimes because the Doctor is trying to figure out how severe the problem is, HOWEVER, if the Doctor is a good Doctor they tend to listen to their patient and make sure they're not going to kill them in the process. As Mr. Morris began examining my knee I instantly tensed up because it was instantly very painful, I very clearly said, that's really really hurting while gasping at the small prods he was making. He muttered in my direction, "I know I know.. I need to do the exam though.. give me a moment". He then proceeded to push HARD down on the knee. I didn't grunt, groan, gasp ... I screamed. You can ask Dave or anyone else that knows me, I pretty much don't scream, especially in a Doctors office as it'd be embarassing, but it hurt just that bad. I screamed and instantly burst into tears and begged him, "please.. please please stop ... you're hurting me so bad". Low and behold that did get through to him and he stopped and moved onto my ankle. Thankfully he only did small rotations and softer prodding in that area to get his 'exam' done.
He ordered a few more xrays, left the room, and I turned to Dave who looked ready to go after the guy and tear his head off and said, "He might as well have thrown the damn horse on me again with how badly he just hurt me."
The new xrays were also negative and that was pretty much the end of the traumatizing experience. His kind and gentle nurses took care of the rest thank God. They scheduled me for a 2 week followup (which won't be kept) and I was on my way in my new, heavy, clunky, but comfortable steel boot.
Anyhow, I'll be writing a letter to the Doctor who referred me to him, because I think that Dr (who was very kind) should know what an idiot this guy is and I'll also be finding out if there's a clinic manager that I can write to at the location Mr. Morris works at. Mr. Morris who's at least 70 years old and should have retired 45 years ago based on what I saw of his care today.
Thanks again for your support everyone ... I'll keep you all update to date!
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Horseback Riding Accident
So... I thought it would be a good idea to write about the accident here and then post it on my Facebook as well as my standard blog. I've had a few questions and know there will be more, so this is an excellent way to answer everyone at once! :)
For those who don't know, I lease a horse named Rebel. He's a beautiful stocky Paint who stands at 15'2 and weighs approximately 1200 pounds.
Rebel has some old bad habits with his gaits and so I've been working hard to teach him to canter correctly. Slow, easy, controlled, while bending. He's struggling to learn but overall doing fairly well. He has stumbled with me on him, but never come completely down on me. That all changed last night...
We had been riding for about 30 minutes, he was nice and warmed up, and I took him into the round pen as it helps keep him well in control and forces somewhat of a bend. We picked up the canter, he was doing so *great*, but then broke his stride into a fast trot. I squeezed with my legs to push him back into the canter and when he went to pick it up, he stumbled ... didn't regain his balance ... and went all the way down.
I felt him falling, kicked my feet free and hit the ground with my hands and forearms first, catching myself; and for a millisecond thought I was okay, until I felt his body come down on top of my left leg. They say to judge your pain on a scale of 0-10, this was by far a 10 on the pain scale and I screamed louder than I probably ever have.
Next door to the stables I ride at is a mental institute and one of the men who work there was outside taking a break and saw most of it happen. He scaled their 12 foot chainlink fence (landing in a pile of horse poo on the other side I might add) and was almost instantly at my side. Total sweetheart. He had a friend call 911, and by that time the barn manager and several others were by my side as well.
..............and... I apologize but I'm going to have to finish working on this later due to my mixture of codeine and tylenol having knocked me out again. I can't keep my eyes open. Write more later....
So... funny thing... I had to re-read everything I typed earlier due to the meds because I couldn't really remember any of it.
Anyhow, the firetruck paramedics got to the stables first. After checking my head, neck, back, and hips and being assured everything was alright in those areas they went to my foot. Sadly I was sobbing and begging to just pass out the whole time. I just wanted the pain to stop. One of the paramedics was so extra kind, he kneeled down next to me and started to talk gently to me, asking me random misc questions and asking me to breathe his speed (I was hyperventilating). I appreciated him so much. He's also the one who held my hands and let me scream practically directly into his face while they unzipped my riding boot and pulled it off.
About 10 minutes in the ambulance got there and they loaded me up onto a stretcher and into the back of the ambulance. Again, the paramedics were wonderful. They were very sympathetic to the amount of pain I was in and quickly got an IV started. Oh, before they loaded me into the ambulance they had to stabilize my foot/ankle with a pillow and ace bandage and that's when I first realized the deformed angle my foot was laying at. Despite my begging for them to not touch it and leave it alone, they had to stabilize it and gently talked me through the process. I've felt pain before people, all kinds of pain. Multiple surgery recoveries, broken bones, labor, etc .. this pain I can pretty easily say topped them all.
Once the IV was started they administered my first pain meds and I could've kissed them all in gratitude. Within about 60 seconds my pain of a crying whimpering 10 went down to a breathing easy 2.
We arrived at the hospital and about everything went standard from there. The male paramedics handed me over to the female nurses at the hospital and disappeared fairly quickly. The nurses I had were excellent too. They kept a steady dose of morphine going that had me very loopy and not very aware of anything going on around me. The Dr came into see me and ordered the xrays, he said that he was fairly certain it was either broken or dislocated due to the angle of the foot which at this point was hugely swollen.
It was during his exam that we realized that my knee was also fairly badly injured. I hadn't felt any pain there as of yet, but when he was examining me and pushed down on my knee, I just about shot into the ceiling panels. Ouch! So... xrays ordered for the knee too.
As a surprise to us both. The xray came back with no breaks and no dislocations. The bad news that goes with that is that the injury is worse than either of those and will take longer to heal. As the Dr stated, I have a severe amount of muscle, tissue, and ligament damage. That damage is why my ankle/foot was hanging at such a gross angle; ya see, most of the tissue that holds it in place is torn up. Same diagnosis for the knee, though not quite to the same severity. Additionally, my knee is having some pretty severe sharp pains which may indicate something else is wrong.
The Dr in the ER referred me to a Orthopedic surgeon that I'll be seeing this Thursday at 8:30am. My guess is that he'll be doing an MRI to determine the extent of the damage and we'll go from there.
Until further notice I'm pretty much bedridden. I'm taking codeine with tylenol and will be taking Ultram (? - I think) once we get it from the pharmacy today. The foot and knee need to be above my heart level so being on my back in bed is about the only fix. Thank goodness for laptops.
Anyhow, I'll keep everyone posted on how things go and what the verdict is after my appointment on Thursday.
For those who don't know, I lease a horse named Rebel. He's a beautiful stocky Paint who stands at 15'2 and weighs approximately 1200 pounds.
Rebel has some old bad habits with his gaits and so I've been working hard to teach him to canter correctly. Slow, easy, controlled, while bending. He's struggling to learn but overall doing fairly well. He has stumbled with me on him, but never come completely down on me. That all changed last night...
We had been riding for about 30 minutes, he was nice and warmed up, and I took him into the round pen as it helps keep him well in control and forces somewhat of a bend. We picked up the canter, he was doing so *great*, but then broke his stride into a fast trot. I squeezed with my legs to push him back into the canter and when he went to pick it up, he stumbled ... didn't regain his balance ... and went all the way down.
I felt him falling, kicked my feet free and hit the ground with my hands and forearms first, catching myself; and for a millisecond thought I was okay, until I felt his body come down on top of my left leg. They say to judge your pain on a scale of 0-10, this was by far a 10 on the pain scale and I screamed louder than I probably ever have.
Next door to the stables I ride at is a mental institute and one of the men who work there was outside taking a break and saw most of it happen. He scaled their 12 foot chainlink fence (landing in a pile of horse poo on the other side I might add) and was almost instantly at my side. Total sweetheart. He had a friend call 911, and by that time the barn manager and several others were by my side as well.
..............and... I apologize but I'm going to have to finish working on this later due to my mixture of codeine and tylenol having knocked me out again. I can't keep my eyes open. Write more later....
So... funny thing... I had to re-read everything I typed earlier due to the meds because I couldn't really remember any of it.
Anyhow, the firetruck paramedics got to the stables first. After checking my head, neck, back, and hips and being assured everything was alright in those areas they went to my foot. Sadly I was sobbing and begging to just pass out the whole time. I just wanted the pain to stop. One of the paramedics was so extra kind, he kneeled down next to me and started to talk gently to me, asking me random misc questions and asking me to breathe his speed (I was hyperventilating). I appreciated him so much. He's also the one who held my hands and let me scream practically directly into his face while they unzipped my riding boot and pulled it off.
About 10 minutes in the ambulance got there and they loaded me up onto a stretcher and into the back of the ambulance. Again, the paramedics were wonderful. They were very sympathetic to the amount of pain I was in and quickly got an IV started. Oh, before they loaded me into the ambulance they had to stabilize my foot/ankle with a pillow and ace bandage and that's when I first realized the deformed angle my foot was laying at. Despite my begging for them to not touch it and leave it alone, they had to stabilize it and gently talked me through the process. I've felt pain before people, all kinds of pain. Multiple surgery recoveries, broken bones, labor, etc .. this pain I can pretty easily say topped them all.
Once the IV was started they administered my first pain meds and I could've kissed them all in gratitude. Within about 60 seconds my pain of a crying whimpering 10 went down to a breathing easy 2.
We arrived at the hospital and about everything went standard from there. The male paramedics handed me over to the female nurses at the hospital and disappeared fairly quickly. The nurses I had were excellent too. They kept a steady dose of morphine going that had me very loopy and not very aware of anything going on around me. The Dr came into see me and ordered the xrays, he said that he was fairly certain it was either broken or dislocated due to the angle of the foot which at this point was hugely swollen.
It was during his exam that we realized that my knee was also fairly badly injured. I hadn't felt any pain there as of yet, but when he was examining me and pushed down on my knee, I just about shot into the ceiling panels. Ouch! So... xrays ordered for the knee too.
As a surprise to us both. The xray came back with no breaks and no dislocations. The bad news that goes with that is that the injury is worse than either of those and will take longer to heal. As the Dr stated, I have a severe amount of muscle, tissue, and ligament damage. That damage is why my ankle/foot was hanging at such a gross angle; ya see, most of the tissue that holds it in place is torn up. Same diagnosis for the knee, though not quite to the same severity. Additionally, my knee is having some pretty severe sharp pains which may indicate something else is wrong.
The Dr in the ER referred me to a Orthopedic surgeon that I'll be seeing this Thursday at 8:30am. My guess is that he'll be doing an MRI to determine the extent of the damage and we'll go from there.
Until further notice I'm pretty much bedridden. I'm taking codeine with tylenol and will be taking Ultram (? - I think) once we get it from the pharmacy today. The foot and knee need to be above my heart level so being on my back in bed is about the only fix. Thank goodness for laptops.
Anyhow, I'll keep everyone posted on how things go and what the verdict is after my appointment on Thursday.
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Thursday Thunk by the Thunkers
It's something to do to pass the time ... it works ...
1. What is your favorite type of soda (if you drink soda)? Diet Coke when I drink it. I don't do soda very often.
2. Do you believe in astrology? If so, what does your sign say about you? To a point. I'm a Gemini which is often considered the "twins" sign. It fits me well. I'm one person but feel like two fairly often in my life and mind. I'm also incredibly indecisive all the time.
3. Who is John Galt? I have absolutely no idea. I could google it, but I'm not. :)
4. What is the last thing you do before you go to sleep at night? Depends on the night. Read, snuggle, take my meds.
5. Who's your Daddy? Uhm.. well. Technically he's the dude that was the owner of the little spermy that went after my Mommy's egg and created me. :) His first name was David. The majority of his life was lived well loving me and his family. RIP Dad.
6. Jelly beans or Jelly Bellies? OOooh either or please!
7. What do you think about yellow cars? Why car manufacturers actually made yellow cars? They're not for me, but I suppose manufacturers make them cause some peeps like them.
8. Holding on or Letting go? Right now, I can't really answer this question completely. I'm trying to hold on though.
9. What kind of underwear, if any, do you wear? Bikini cut
10. Who is your daddy and what does he do? Uhm. Didn't we already go there? I don't know what he does - it all depends on what was waiting for him in the afterlife.
11. Spring - is it here yet? Sure is! I'm in Florida.
12. Does Google Streetview scare you? No. I find it kind of handy.
13. What is your favorite brand of ice cream? Skinny Cow
14. What is your favorite flavor of ice cream? Chocolate and Vanilla together
15. Do you ever get tired of your everyday routine? All the time.
16. What inspires you? My friends and my family.
17. It’s springtime-do you spend more time outdoors? Yep.
18. When do you think Bud will let us see the DVD of him and the french twins? HA! I actually know what this question is referring to. Probably never.
19. If you could live anywhere in the world, where would you, and why? There are multiple places. Arizona - where my Mom, Sis, and nephew are. Seattle - where my other Sis and Brother are. Arkansas - where most of my Fayne family is located.
20. Why do you blog? Fun, journalling, the need to vent, etc.
21. What are electrolytes and why are they good for us? You're kidding right? I'm so not trying to go there.
22. Do you twitter? Why or why not? Nope. My twitter is broken.
23. What did you dream last night? I don't remember.
24. What is the strangest thing you've eaten? Hmm.. I've had snails. That's pretty weird. They were really REALLY good, buttery, and garlicky. I also love sushi so most types of raw seafood I've tried.
25. What was the last picture that you took? Pictures from Gulf Wars. Not sure what the last one was of.
26. What is your favorite part of spring? Fresh flowers. The smell of the earth after it's a long rain. Sunny days that have a light breeze so they're not too hot.
27. what is one thing that you did this past week that no one knows about? Well, someone would know about it if I wrote it here. :) Although I honestly can't think of anything I've done that no one knows about.
28. What kind of bandages do you typically have in your household? All types. My hubby is a SCA Fighter.
1. What is your favorite type of soda (if you drink soda)? Diet Coke when I drink it. I don't do soda very often.
2. Do you believe in astrology? If so, what does your sign say about you? To a point. I'm a Gemini which is often considered the "twins" sign. It fits me well. I'm one person but feel like two fairly often in my life and mind. I'm also incredibly indecisive all the time.
3. Who is John Galt? I have absolutely no idea. I could google it, but I'm not. :)
4. What is the last thing you do before you go to sleep at night? Depends on the night. Read, snuggle, take my meds.
5. Who's your Daddy? Uhm.. well. Technically he's the dude that was the owner of the little spermy that went after my Mommy's egg and created me. :) His first name was David. The majority of his life was lived well loving me and his family. RIP Dad.
6. Jelly beans or Jelly Bellies? OOooh either or please!
7. What do you think about yellow cars? Why car manufacturers actually made yellow cars? They're not for me, but I suppose manufacturers make them cause some peeps like them.
8. Holding on or Letting go? Right now, I can't really answer this question completely. I'm trying to hold on though.
9. What kind of underwear, if any, do you wear? Bikini cut
10. Who is your daddy and what does he do? Uhm. Didn't we already go there? I don't know what he does - it all depends on what was waiting for him in the afterlife.
11. Spring - is it here yet? Sure is! I'm in Florida.
12. Does Google Streetview scare you? No. I find it kind of handy.
13. What is your favorite brand of ice cream? Skinny Cow
14. What is your favorite flavor of ice cream? Chocolate and Vanilla together
15. Do you ever get tired of your everyday routine? All the time.
16. What inspires you? My friends and my family.
17. It’s springtime-do you spend more time outdoors? Yep.
18. When do you think Bud will let us see the DVD of him and the french twins? HA! I actually know what this question is referring to. Probably never.
19. If you could live anywhere in the world, where would you, and why? There are multiple places. Arizona - where my Mom, Sis, and nephew are. Seattle - where my other Sis and Brother are. Arkansas - where most of my Fayne family is located.
20. Why do you blog? Fun, journalling, the need to vent, etc.
21. What are electrolytes and why are they good for us? You're kidding right? I'm so not trying to go there.
22. Do you twitter? Why or why not? Nope. My twitter is broken.
23. What did you dream last night? I don't remember.
24. What is the strangest thing you've eaten? Hmm.. I've had snails. That's pretty weird. They were really REALLY good, buttery, and garlicky. I also love sushi so most types of raw seafood I've tried.
25. What was the last picture that you took? Pictures from Gulf Wars. Not sure what the last one was of.
26. What is your favorite part of spring? Fresh flowers. The smell of the earth after it's a long rain. Sunny days that have a light breeze so they're not too hot.
27. what is one thing that you did this past week that no one knows about? Well, someone would know about it if I wrote it here. :) Although I honestly can't think of anything I've done that no one knows about.
28. What kind of bandages do you typically have in your household? All types. My hubby is a SCA Fighter.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)