1. What was your favorite subject in high school? Art and Pottery
2. Do you watch reality shows? Which ones? I'm not sure if they count as reality shows, I guess they do because they're real, they're just not as drama filled as some. So, Trauma: Life in the ER. Code Blue. Project Runway. Top Chef. Animal Cops.
3. What's your favorite all time reality show? Ohh.. hard to chose, probably any of them that are medical related. They're facinating to me.
4. Do you feel "reality" shows are real or are they faked? I think a lot of the drama parts are acted / faked in things like Top Chef and Project Runway.
5. What did you look like when you were a teenager? I remember myself as being pretty chubby and unkept. I most defintely was not a popular teenager.
6. Whose advice do you listen to? My sister and Sean.
7. How often are you sick? To often! I'm considerably lucky though, I could have it a lot worse.
8. Do you like or dislike change? omg, I hate it!
9. How many times in your life have you had a broken heart? A couple of times, for a few different reasons - not all because of ended relationships.
Saturday, November 7, 2009
Sunday, November 1, 2009
Sunday Stealing Meme - Weird Questions
1. What is the color of your toothbrush? Green and White.
2. Name one person who made you smile today. Sean. :) He's great at that.
3. What were you doing at 8 am this morning? Sleeping still.
4. What were you doing 45 minutes ago? Just starting to wake up.
5. What is your favorite candy bar? Twix.
6. Have you ever been to a strip club? Yep.
7. What is the last thing you said aloud? "Who is that?"
8. What is your favorite ice cream? How to choose? Something with chocolate and coffee flavoring.
9. What was the last thing you had to drink? Water.
10. Do you like your wallet? Yep.
11. What was the last thing you ate? Eggs, Ham, English Muffin.
12. Have you bought any new clothing items this week? Nope.
13. The last sporting event you watched? Football.
14. What is your favorite flavor of popcorn? Light Butter.
15. Who is the last person you sent a text message to? Sean.
16. Ever go camping? Yes! I love camping.
17. Do you take vitamins daily? Yep.
18. Do you go to church every Sunday? Nope.
19. Do you have a tan? Slight natural one from living in Florida.
20. Do you prefer Chinese food over pizza? Yes, most of the time.
21. Do you drink your soda with a straw? When I can, I like drinking with straws, I even bought a package of them for my kitchen.
22. What did your last text message say? No idea, I'd have to go get my phone and see and well, I'm lazy this early.
23. What are you doing tomorrow? Working on my resume and starting the new hunt for work.
24. Favorite color? Blue.
25. Look to your left; what do you see? Kitchen.
2. Name one person who made you smile today. Sean. :) He's great at that.
3. What were you doing at 8 am this morning? Sleeping still.
4. What were you doing 45 minutes ago? Just starting to wake up.
5. What is your favorite candy bar? Twix.
6. Have you ever been to a strip club? Yep.
7. What is the last thing you said aloud? "Who is that?"
8. What is your favorite ice cream? How to choose? Something with chocolate and coffee flavoring.
9. What was the last thing you had to drink? Water.
10. Do you like your wallet? Yep.
11. What was the last thing you ate? Eggs, Ham, English Muffin.
12. Have you bought any new clothing items this week? Nope.
13. The last sporting event you watched? Football.
14. What is your favorite flavor of popcorn? Light Butter.
15. Who is the last person you sent a text message to? Sean.
16. Ever go camping? Yes! I love camping.
17. Do you take vitamins daily? Yep.
18. Do you go to church every Sunday? Nope.
19. Do you have a tan? Slight natural one from living in Florida.
20. Do you prefer Chinese food over pizza? Yes, most of the time.
21. Do you drink your soda with a straw? When I can, I like drinking with straws, I even bought a package of them for my kitchen.
22. What did your last text message say? No idea, I'd have to go get my phone and see and well, I'm lazy this early.
23. What are you doing tomorrow? Working on my resume and starting the new hunt for work.
24. Favorite color? Blue.
25. Look to your left; what do you see? Kitchen.
Monday, October 5, 2009
Meme for Monday and other stuff
Why is the Manic Monday Meme always so short? I think that it's supposed to inspire longer and more creative writing, but I've got to say, after going through a mind numbing, exhausting, not wanting to be there because it's Monday workday -- the furthest thing from my mind is writing my intellectual <--(I'm so spelling that wrong) thoughts on something. (just saying...)
Even so, here we go:
Do you read an actual print newspaper? If so, how often? Nope.
What is your main source of news? I get CNN updates in my work email, I see the headlines on the front page of Yahoo, and once in awhile I watch a portion of the evening news on TV.
Do you believe that it's possible for the media to be unbiased? No. I think it's possible that a person can write an article from an unbiased standpoint. However, verbally, visually, and personally on the inside I don't believe a person reporting on the news is going to be unbiased.
------------------------------
On another note. Life seems to be going pretty darned good. Random lists of updates.
-Dave and I are offically divorced.
-Sean and I are living together and talking about our futures a lot. I'm happy. I'm excited for him to come home every day. I can't get enough time with him. He expresses the same feelings constantly and I love it. We're both aware that the giddy twitterpatted stage doesn't last forever ..... but the happiness and love ... I don't feel like that will overall ever fade. We're seriously like two teenagers a lot of the time and I can't even begin to say how much fun it is to have someone that has a goofy silly personality so insanely similar to mine. I think he might even be weirder than me sometimes. I love it.
-I'm currently working with a new horse named Suzie. Funny, I've said I don't like appaloosa's and I don't prefer mares. She's both. AND .. she's amazing. Sean loves her and treats her like a pet dog. It's adorable. He gave her a treat a couple days ago and told her to "sit", like he was talking to a dog. I crap you not. "Sit!". It's hysterical. I love it. I love him. I love them. :) She's for sale and I so wish we could purchase her. She's 3 yrs old and has a lot of potential.
-I was riding a horse named Red for about a week. She also was a mare. (weird). Except she was a thoroughbred. WOOT! She's definitely for an experienced rider, but she was oh so sweet. Unforunately she was not treated well for several months and is now on stall rest for several months. Long story short, she was given away to someone else today and I couldn't be happier. Her current owner was not physically abusing her, but by not taking care of her was inflicting abuse.
-Today I let my Mom know that Sean and I were living together. Ugh. Ouch. I hate hurting her and making her sad ... and it did. However, I hate lying to her even more. She'll adjust and she'll be okay, we just have very strong different view points on this matter. I love her dearly and she's one of my best friends; we'll work through this too.
Oooooooooooooo.. Sean just texted me he's going to make Top Ramen when he gets home from work and he's not sharing. I've got a wicked craving now. I'm so making my own. Muahaha.
Even so, here we go:
Do you read an actual print newspaper? If so, how often? Nope.
What is your main source of news? I get CNN updates in my work email, I see the headlines on the front page of Yahoo, and once in awhile I watch a portion of the evening news on TV.
Do you believe that it's possible for the media to be unbiased? No. I think it's possible that a person can write an article from an unbiased standpoint. However, verbally, visually, and personally on the inside I don't believe a person reporting on the news is going to be unbiased.
------------------------------
On another note. Life seems to be going pretty darned good. Random lists of updates.
-Dave and I are offically divorced.
-Sean and I are living together and talking about our futures a lot. I'm happy. I'm excited for him to come home every day. I can't get enough time with him. He expresses the same feelings constantly and I love it. We're both aware that the giddy twitterpatted stage doesn't last forever ..... but the happiness and love ... I don't feel like that will overall ever fade. We're seriously like two teenagers a lot of the time and I can't even begin to say how much fun it is to have someone that has a goofy silly personality so insanely similar to mine. I think he might even be weirder than me sometimes.
-I'm currently working with a new horse named Suzie. Funny, I've said I don't like appaloosa's and I don't prefer mares. She's both. AND .. she's amazing. Sean loves her and treats her like a pet dog. It's adorable. He gave her a treat a couple days ago and told her to "sit", like he was talking to a dog. I crap you not. "Sit!". It's hysterical. I love it. I love him. I love them. :) She's for sale and I so wish we could purchase her. She's 3 yrs old and has a lot of potential.
-I was riding a horse named Red for about a week. She also was a mare. (weird). Except she was a thoroughbred. WOOT! She's definitely for an experienced rider, but she was oh so sweet. Unforunately she was not treated well for several months and is now on stall rest for several months. Long story short, she was given away to someone else today and I couldn't be happier. Her current owner was not physically abusing her, but by not taking care of her was inflicting abuse.
-Today I let my Mom know that Sean and I were living together. Ugh. Ouch. I hate hurting her and making her sad ... and it did. However, I hate lying to her even more. She'll adjust and she'll be okay, we just have very strong different view points on this matter. I love her dearly and she's one of my best friends; we'll work through this too.
Oooooooooooooo.. Sean just texted me he's going to make Top Ramen when he gets home from work and he's not sharing. I've got a wicked craving now. I'm so making my own. Muahaha.
Sunday, September 20, 2009
Sunday Stealing - One *LONG* Meme
1. The phone rings. Who will it to be? Hmm, at this time of the night, my sister or Cait probably.
2. When shopping at the grocery store, do you return your cart? No, most of the time I don't. *blush*
3. In a social setting, are you more of a talker or a listener? Really depends on the day or my mood. The majority of the time the listener.
4. Do you take compliments well? Not really, I get pretty bashful with compliments.
5. Do you play Sudoku? Yeah, but I'm bad at it.
6. If abandoned alone in the wilderness, would you survive? Overall it depends on what I had with me, but yeah.
7. Did you ever go to camp as a kid? Yep!
8. What was your favorite game as a kid? I don't really remember. I did like this one family game we played called "The Farmer" or "Farmer's Market" or something.
9. If a sexy person was pursuing you, but you knew he was married, would you? Absolutely not.
10. Could you date someone with different religious beliefs than you? Yes
11. Do you like to pursue or be pursued? Good mixture of both.
12. Use three words to describe yourself? Emotional, Empathic, Happy
13. Do any songs make you cry? Oh heck yeah.
14. Are you continuing your education? Not currently.
15. Do you know how to shoot a gun? If handled one I could shoot it, but I probably wouldn't hit a target.
16. Have you ever taken pictures in a photo booth? Yep.
17. How often do you read books? Used to all the time, haven't started one recently.
18. Do you think more about the past, present or future? A good mixture of both. Though I probably shouldn't think about the past so much. :P
19. What is your favorite children’s book? Any Dr. Suess
20. What color are your eyes? Blue
21. How tall are you? 5'7"
22. Where is your dream house located? Not really sure actually.
23. If your house was on fire, what would be the first thing you grabbed? I'd make sure Sean was awake and on the way out too then probably one of my boxes of memories / photos. If I had time a few additional clothes other than what was on my back.
24. When was the last time you were at Olive Garden? About a month ago with Sean.
25. Where was the furthest place you traveled today? Up the street to Home Depot.
26. Do you like mustard? Yes
27. Do you prefer to sleep or eat? I have to chose one!? We need both peeps!
28. Do you look like your mom or dad? More like my Mom I think.
29. How long does it take you in the shower? If not doing any shaving of legs and such, about 5 mins.
30. Can you do the splits? Nope.
31. What movie do you want to see right now? Angels and Demons, didn't get to see it in the theatre, waiting for it to hit DVD.
32. What did you do for New Year’s? I totally can't remember. Eeek!
33. Do you think The Grudge was scary? Yes, wont watch it.
34. Do you own a camera phone? yes.
35. Was your mom a cheerleader? no.
36. What’s the last letter of your middle name? Y
37. How many hours of sleep do you get a night? I'm in bed for at least 8, but generally only sleep 6 or 7.
38. Do you like Care Bears? Loved them as a child.
39. What do you buy at the movies? Try not to buy more than my ticket and sneak some cheaper stuff in if I can.
40. Do you know how to play poker? Yep!
41. Do you wear your seat belt? Yes!
42. What do you wear to sleep? Nothing
43. Anything big ever happen in your hometown? Yea.
44. How many meals do you eat a day? 4-6 depending on how good I'm being.
45. Is your tongue pierced? No, but it used to be.
46. Do you always read MySpace bulletins? Not always, but I look at them when I log on.
47. Do you like funny or serious people better? Funny. :)
48. Ever been to L.A.? Yep.
49. Did you eat a cookie today? No. Ooo... I want a cookie.
50. Do you use cuss words in other languages? I have before.
51. Do you steal or pay for your music downloads? Uhm. I plead the 5th?
52. Do you hate chocolate? No?!?! I love my chocolatey goodness.
53. What do you and your parents fight about the most? We don't really fight.
54. Are you a gullible person? Oh yeah.
55. Do you need a boyfriend to be happy? Nope.
56. If you could have any job (assuming you have the skills) what what would it be? Professional Horse Trainer.
57. Are you easy to get along with? I think so.
58. What is your favorite time of day? Middle of the day. More awake, but not tired from the long day yet.
2. When shopping at the grocery store, do you return your cart? No, most of the time I don't. *blush*
3. In a social setting, are you more of a talker or a listener? Really depends on the day or my mood. The majority of the time the listener.
4. Do you take compliments well? Not really, I get pretty bashful with compliments.
5. Do you play Sudoku? Yeah, but I'm bad at it.
6. If abandoned alone in the wilderness, would you survive? Overall it depends on what I had with me, but yeah.
7. Did you ever go to camp as a kid? Yep!
8. What was your favorite game as a kid? I don't really remember. I did like this one family game we played called "The Farmer" or "Farmer's Market" or something.
9. If a sexy person was pursuing you, but you knew he was married, would you? Absolutely not.
10. Could you date someone with different religious beliefs than you? Yes
11. Do you like to pursue or be pursued? Good mixture of both.
12. Use three words to describe yourself? Emotional, Empathic, Happy
13. Do any songs make you cry? Oh heck yeah.
14. Are you continuing your education? Not currently.
15. Do you know how to shoot a gun? If handled one I could shoot it, but I probably wouldn't hit a target.
16. Have you ever taken pictures in a photo booth? Yep.
17. How often do you read books? Used to all the time, haven't started one recently.
18. Do you think more about the past, present or future? A good mixture of both. Though I probably shouldn't think about the past so much. :P
19. What is your favorite children’s book? Any Dr. Suess
20. What color are your eyes? Blue
21. How tall are you? 5'7"
22. Where is your dream house located? Not really sure actually.
23. If your house was on fire, what would be the first thing you grabbed? I'd make sure Sean was awake and on the way out too then probably one of my boxes of memories / photos. If I had time a few additional clothes other than what was on my back.
24. When was the last time you were at Olive Garden? About a month ago with Sean.
25. Where was the furthest place you traveled today? Up the street to Home Depot.
26. Do you like mustard? Yes
27. Do you prefer to sleep or eat? I have to chose one!? We need both peeps!
28. Do you look like your mom or dad? More like my Mom I think.
29. How long does it take you in the shower? If not doing any shaving of legs and such, about 5 mins.
30. Can you do the splits? Nope.
31. What movie do you want to see right now? Angels and Demons, didn't get to see it in the theatre, waiting for it to hit DVD.
32. What did you do for New Year’s? I totally can't remember. Eeek!
33. Do you think The Grudge was scary? Yes, wont watch it.
34. Do you own a camera phone? yes.
35. Was your mom a cheerleader? no.
36. What’s the last letter of your middle name? Y
37. How many hours of sleep do you get a night? I'm in bed for at least 8, but generally only sleep 6 or 7.
38. Do you like Care Bears? Loved them as a child.
39. What do you buy at the movies? Try not to buy more than my ticket and sneak some cheaper stuff in if I can.
40. Do you know how to play poker? Yep!
41. Do you wear your seat belt? Yes!
42. What do you wear to sleep? Nothing
43. Anything big ever happen in your hometown? Yea.
44. How many meals do you eat a day? 4-6 depending on how good I'm being.
45. Is your tongue pierced? No, but it used to be.
46. Do you always read MySpace bulletins? Not always, but I look at them when I log on.
47. Do you like funny or serious people better? Funny. :)
48. Ever been to L.A.? Yep.
49. Did you eat a cookie today? No. Ooo... I want a cookie.
50. Do you use cuss words in other languages? I have before.
51. Do you steal or pay for your music downloads? Uhm. I plead the 5th?
52. Do you hate chocolate? No?!?! I love my chocolatey goodness.
53. What do you and your parents fight about the most? We don't really fight.
54. Are you a gullible person? Oh yeah.
55. Do you need a boyfriend to be happy? Nope.
56. If you could have any job (assuming you have the skills) what what would it be? Professional Horse Trainer.
57. Are you easy to get along with? I think so.
58. What is your favorite time of day? Middle of the day. More awake, but not tired from the long day yet.
Sunday, August 16, 2009
Sunday Stealing - One of my favorite meme's.
The Sunday Stealing meme is one of my favorites because it's always changing. I haven't been posting or doing meme's quite as often, but I've got some extra time today so here we go!
Question 1: Who do you think is the hottest movie star? This is a hard one as I have a few favorites. Men: Ryan Reynolds; Hugh Jackman. Women: Nicole Kidman; Charlize Theron. Though I think they're both more attractive when they're not super bone-showing skinny.
Question 2: Apart from your house and your car, what is the most expensive thing you have ever bought? Jewelry, necklace and small topaz and white gold ring I bought myself.
Question 3: What is your most treasured memory? I have two right now. The birth of my son will always first and foremost. And honestly.. the first time I met Sean.. it was an amazing moment that I haven't experienced before.
Question 4: What is the best gift you’ve ever received as a child? Unforunately I don't have a lot of childhood memories so I can't remember many specific gifts. I do remember the Christmas when all of us kids got the original Nintendo tho.. that was awesome. :) That and the gifts my Mom made were always the best!
Question 5: What is the biggest mistake you’ve ever made? Not walking away.
Question 6: Give four words to describe yourself. Honest, Empathy, Emotional, Loving
Question 7: What was your highlight or lowlight of 2008? Uhm.. 2008?.. gods, with my memories being all kinds of messed up thats difficult for me to do. I'd say meeting Patty and all the other people at "Three Arrows Ranch", it's made a huge impact and change in my life. OH GOODNESS and how could my crazy mind forget. The birth of my nephew!!!!!!!!!!!! I got to be there and it was amazing and beautiful and wonderful in every way possible.
Question 8: What was your most embarrassing moment? The first thing that came to mind when I read this was a time I accidently pee'd myself from laughing so hard. It was at a friends house I had in Seattle during a party at her house. It might've been a b-day party. Sooooooooo embarassing. I was pretty badly teased for it.
Question 9: Tell something not generally known about yourself. Uhmmmmm.. I have a totally irrational fear of having my toes pulled on - I feel like they'll dislocate if they're even gently pulled. When I get a pedicure I have to specifically mention not to pull on my toes when they're doing the foot massage.
Question 10: If you were a comic strip/cartoon character, who would you be? Are there any cartoon characters of Betty Page? :D ... I dunno, someone dark, sexy, and mysterious!
Question 1: Who do you think is the hottest movie star? This is a hard one as I have a few favorites. Men: Ryan Reynolds; Hugh Jackman. Women: Nicole Kidman; Charlize Theron. Though I think they're both more attractive when they're not super bone-showing skinny.
Question 2: Apart from your house and your car, what is the most expensive thing you have ever bought? Jewelry, necklace and small topaz and white gold ring I bought myself.
Question 3: What is your most treasured memory? I have two right now. The birth of my son will always first and foremost. And honestly.. the first time I met Sean.. it was an amazing moment that I haven't experienced before.
Question 4: What is the best gift you’ve ever received as a child? Unforunately I don't have a lot of childhood memories so I can't remember many specific gifts. I do remember the Christmas when all of us kids got the original Nintendo tho.. that was awesome. :) That and the gifts my Mom made were always the best!
Question 5: What is the biggest mistake you’ve ever made? Not walking away.
Question 6: Give four words to describe yourself. Honest, Empathy, Emotional, Loving
Question 7: What was your highlight or lowlight of 2008? Uhm.. 2008?.. gods, with my memories being all kinds of messed up thats difficult for me to do. I'd say meeting Patty and all the other people at "Three Arrows Ranch", it's made a huge impact and change in my life. OH GOODNESS and how could my crazy mind forget. The birth of my nephew!!!!!!!!!!!! I got to be there and it was amazing and beautiful and wonderful in every way possible.
Question 8: What was your most embarrassing moment? The first thing that came to mind when I read this was a time I accidently pee'd myself from laughing so hard. It was at a friends house I had in Seattle during a party at her house. It might've been a b-day party. Sooooooooo embarassing. I was pretty badly teased for it.
Question 9: Tell something not generally known about yourself. Uhmmmmm.. I have a totally irrational fear of having my toes pulled on - I feel like they'll dislocate if they're even gently pulled. When I get a pedicure I have to specifically mention not to pull on my toes when they're doing the foot massage.
Question 10: If you were a comic strip/cartoon character, who would you be? Are there any cartoon characters of Betty Page? :D ... I dunno, someone dark, sexy, and mysterious!
Thursday, July 23, 2009
Thursday Thunks! It's that time again! .. Meme's!
1. You walk into a store and the cashier is being held up by a robber. The robber's accomplice is dead on the floor at your feet with a shotgun laying next to him. The robber does not see you, but the cashier does - what do you do? Not to be anal, but this would depend on a few things. How stressed out is the robber? Is he / she tweaking? Calm? Hands shaking? Seem trigger happy? How close is the shotgun to me? More than likely I'd try to quietly step behind one of the shelves and get to the floor while hitting the emergency 911 button my cell phone. I don't know how to use a gun, I'm not incredibly intimidating, and I'd probably end up getting shot or getting someone else shot if I tried to take control of the situation.
2. We go to an ice cream shop for an ice cream cone. You say you are buying and I am going to stay in the car. You ask me what I want and I say "surprise me", what kind of ice cream cone am I going to get? If I don't know you at all, I'm probably going to stick to something pretty basic or simple. If we've known each other for a while and you like chocolate, something fun for funky like Rocky Road, Mudslide, or Coffee Coffee Buzz Buzz Buzz.
3. You have a dream that your co-worker, friend or whoever is hit by a garbage truck after they back into a ladder with a black cat on it. The next day you see that person standing by a ladder with a black cat on it and there is a garbage truck driving down the road.... what do you do? Scream VERY loudly so I get their attention and get them to move far far away from the ladder, truck, cat, everything.
4. What is the most money you've won on a lottery or scratch off ticket? $100
5. A neighbor kid down the street comes to your door and offers to wash all of your windows outside for $10 - do you have him do it? Sure! I'll help out and clean windows are nice.
6. Go to Google Images. Type in the name of the last movie you saw. Post the first picture that comes up.
7. Your local animal shelter calls you and says there are 3 dogs that need an immediate foster home for 3 days. If you do not accept, the dogs are put down that day. Do you take them in? In a heartbeat, yes.
8. What is the messiest room in your home? Livingroom, by far.
9. Have you ever been to a wedding that participated in a strange tradition that you had never heard of? Yes, it was the receiption at a Thai wedding. During a dance, men (or women) would pin money to the brides wedding dress and dance with her for a few moments before the next person would pin money and start dancing with her. People were pinning $5, $10, $20, $50, $100 bills. I was young and thought it was SO cool.
10. Name one sport that you just don't get. Golf. I mean, I guess I understand why some people enjoy playing it.... but those who chose to watch it..... really people? I just don't get it. It's like watching paint dry to me.
11. What was the last email that came into your inbox about? It was the Marcaster Yahoo Group email, various posting from my SCA Group in the area.
12. Have you ever purchased anything from a sex shop? Extra points if you tell us what it was.... hahahahaha! Many times. Vibes and nipple clamps are two things I've bought that I'll tell you about.
13. Go back to that Google Images link... type in the last food item that you ate. Post the 2nd picture it comes up with.
14. Got any bumper stickers on your vehicle? What are they? nope, sure don't.
15. What meme question do you wish was never asked again? Hmmm... I don't really like it when a meme asks about when the last time I cried was, and why.
2. We go to an ice cream shop for an ice cream cone. You say you are buying and I am going to stay in the car. You ask me what I want and I say "surprise me", what kind of ice cream cone am I going to get? If I don't know you at all, I'm probably going to stick to something pretty basic or simple. If we've known each other for a while and you like chocolate, something fun for funky like Rocky Road, Mudslide, or Coffee Coffee Buzz Buzz Buzz.
3. You have a dream that your co-worker, friend or whoever is hit by a garbage truck after they back into a ladder with a black cat on it. The next day you see that person standing by a ladder with a black cat on it and there is a garbage truck driving down the road.... what do you do? Scream VERY loudly so I get their attention and get them to move far far away from the ladder, truck, cat, everything.
4. What is the most money you've won on a lottery or scratch off ticket? $100
5. A neighbor kid down the street comes to your door and offers to wash all of your windows outside for $10 - do you have him do it? Sure! I'll help out and clean windows are nice.
6. Go to Google Images. Type in the name of the last movie you saw. Post the first picture that comes up.
7. Your local animal shelter calls you and says there are 3 dogs that need an immediate foster home for 3 days. If you do not accept, the dogs are put down that day. Do you take them in? In a heartbeat, yes.
8. What is the messiest room in your home? Livingroom, by far.
9. Have you ever been to a wedding that participated in a strange tradition that you had never heard of? Yes, it was the receiption at a Thai wedding. During a dance, men (or women) would pin money to the brides wedding dress and dance with her for a few moments before the next person would pin money and start dancing with her. People were pinning $5, $10, $20, $50, $100 bills. I was young and thought it was SO cool.
10. Name one sport that you just don't get. Golf. I mean, I guess I understand why some people enjoy playing it.... but those who chose to watch it..... really people? I just don't get it. It's like watching paint dry to me.
11. What was the last email that came into your inbox about? It was the Marcaster Yahoo Group email, various posting from my SCA Group in the area.
12. Have you ever purchased anything from a sex shop? Extra points if you tell us what it was.... hahahahaha! Many times. Vibes and nipple clamps are two things I've bought that I'll tell you about.
13. Go back to that Google Images link... type in the last food item that you ate. Post the 2nd picture it comes up with.
14. Got any bumper stickers on your vehicle? What are they? nope, sure don't.
15. What meme question do you wish was never asked again? Hmmm... I don't really like it when a meme asks about when the last time I cried was, and why.
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Wednesday's Meme appears to be broken.. so Rachology it is.
Or at least they haven't posted a new questionnaire since the beginning of July ... ah well. This is one I took from a Facebook post. It's supposed to be named Rachology as the title says, but I think that word looks really freaky weird. Maybe that's just me.
Anyway, here we go:
**********FOODOLOGY***************
1. What is your salad dressing of choice?
Most of the time Reduced Fat Italian
2. What is your favorite sit-down restaurant?
Not Your Average Joe's, it's a chain in the Boston area. I need to find a new restaurant that I absolutely love down in Florida.
3. What food could you eat every day for two weeks and not get sick of?
Beef - Various forms of steak. It'd be horribly bad for me to do that, but there are some many different flavors in the different cuts of meat. Mmmmm... red meat.
4. What are your pizza toppings of choice?
I like Supreme Pizzas - most everything piled on. Just no anchovies. Yeck!
5.What do you like to put on your toast?
Butter and Strawberry Jelly
6. Any vegetables you don't like?
Any that come in a can. They either need to be fresh or frozen.
7. Do you eat seafood?
OMG yes. Love it.
***********TECHNOLOGY***************
1. How many televisions are in your house?
hahaha. 5. However only 2 of them are used.
2. What color cell phone do you have?
black
3. How long would it take you to look up who invented the Rubber band?
uh, probably about 10 seconds. Google.
4. Have any idea how may Megahertz your computer has?
No clue, I could find out, but I'm not going looking right now.
***************BIOLOGY******************
1. Are you right-handed or left-handed?
Both. I write with my Left hand, but do most everything else with my Right hand.
2. Have you ever had anything removed from your body?
Yep. Spleen. Tonsils. Splinters. Adhesions.
3. What is the last heavy item you lifted?
Some of the boxes when I moved my stuff over to Cait's place.
4. Have you ever been knocked unconscious?
Knocked out? No, fainted, yes.
************BULLCRAPOLOGY**************
1. If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die?
Hell No!
2. If you could change your name, what would you change it to?
My first and middle name, I wouldn't want to change. My last name, right now back to Herget.
3. Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for $1000?
Yep.
************DUMBOLOGY******************
1. How many pairs of flip flops do you own?
none. I don't like the little part that goes between your toes.
2. Last time you had a run-in with the cops?
Uhmmmmm... don't remember. Long time ago.
3. Last person you talked to?
Cait and Owen before I laid down.
4. Last person you hugged?
Joy at pottery.
**************FAVORITOLOGY****************
1. Season ?
Fall and the Spring. When it's warm, but not HOT.
2. Holiday?
Christmas and Halloween
3. Day of the week?
Saturday
4. Month?
May ? I guess.
***********CURRENTOLOGY*****************
1. Missing someone?
Yes. OMG yes.
2. Mood?
Tired.
3. What are you listening to?
the hum of my laptop
4. Watching?
uhm... my computer screen?
***************RANDOMOLOGY*****************
1. First place you went this morning?
My desk to sign in for work. First place out of the house, Dunkin Donuts for coffee.
2. What's the last movie you saw?
The Proposal. It was awesome.
3. Do you smile often?
Recently, yes. :)
***************OTHEROLOGY*****************
1. Do you always answer your phone?
Nope
2. It's four in the morning and you get a text message, who is it?
Could be a few people. The immediate person who comes to mind right now is Sean. :)
3. If you could change your eye color what would it be?
Wouldn't want to.
4. Do you prefer cold or hot?
Cooler but not cold.
5. What's your favorite gossip magazine?
Err... don't have one
6. Have you ever had a pet fish?
Yep, goldfish and betafish.
8. What's on your wish list for your birthday?
I dunno, way to early to think about that.
9. Can you do push ups?
Girly ones.
10. Can you do a chin up?
Nope
11. Does the future make you more nervous or excited?
Excited!
12. Do you have any saved texts?
Yep :)
13. Ever been in a car wreck?
Yes
14. Do you have an accent?
Nope
15. What is the last song to make you cry?
Don't remember. Butterfly kisses used to make me cry all the time.
16. Plans tonight?
Sleep!
17. Have you ever felt like you hit rock bottom?
Yeah
18. Name 3 things you bought yesterday.
Coffee, Muffin, aaaaaaaaaaaaand I don't think anything else.
19. Have you ever been given roses?
Yes - I love roses among other flowers.
20. Current worry?
Sean's transfer. If it'll work out. If we need to make a different plan. Etc.
21. Current hate right now?
I try not to hate anything, but right now I'm disliking work a lot.
22. Met someone who changed your life?
Yes, a lot of people have changed my life.
23. How will you bring in the New Year?
No idea at this point. New Years Eve is a ways off.
24. What song represents you?
Bitch by Meredith Brooks, haha
25. Name three people who might complete this?
I'm posting it to my blog, not for others to do, unless they want to take it.
26. Would you go back in time if you were given the chance?
Hmmm.. maybe? I think so but probably just so I could reexperience some things I've forgotten.
27. Have you ever dated someone longer than a year?
Yep
28. Do you have any tattoos/piercings?
yes
30. Does anyone love you?
yes
31. Ever had someone sing to you?
yes
32. When did you last cry??
couple nights ago
33. Do you like to cuddle?
I'm a HUGE cuddler. I'm a snuggle cuddle maniac.
34. Have you held hands with anyone today?
nope
35. What kind of music did you listen to in elementary school?
no idea. I don't remember things from that age.
36. Do you like pulpy orange juice?
Yes! .. Mmm.
Anyway, here we go:
**********FOODOLOGY***************
1. What is your salad dressing of choice?
Most of the time Reduced Fat Italian
2. What is your favorite sit-down restaurant?
Not Your Average Joe's, it's a chain in the Boston area. I need to find a new restaurant that I absolutely love down in Florida.
3. What food could you eat every day for two weeks and not get sick of?
Beef - Various forms of steak. It'd be horribly bad for me to do that, but there are some many different flavors in the different cuts of meat. Mmmmm... red meat.
4. What are your pizza toppings of choice?
I like Supreme Pizzas - most everything piled on. Just no anchovies. Yeck!
5.What do you like to put on your toast?
Butter and Strawberry Jelly
6. Any vegetables you don't like?
Any that come in a can. They either need to be fresh or frozen.
7. Do you eat seafood?
OMG yes. Love it.
***********TECHNOLOGY***************
1. How many televisions are in your house?
hahaha. 5. However only 2 of them are used.
2. What color cell phone do you have?
black
3. How long would it take you to look up who invented the Rubber band?
uh, probably about 10 seconds. Google.
4. Have any idea how may Megahertz your computer has?
No clue, I could find out, but I'm not going looking right now.
***************BIOLOGY******************
1. Are you right-handed or left-handed?
Both. I write with my Left hand, but do most everything else with my Right hand.
2. Have you ever had anything removed from your body?
Yep. Spleen. Tonsils. Splinters. Adhesions.
3. What is the last heavy item you lifted?
Some of the boxes when I moved my stuff over to Cait's place.
4. Have you ever been knocked unconscious?
Knocked out? No, fainted, yes.
************BULLCRAPOLOGY**************
1. If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die?
Hell No!
2. If you could change your name, what would you change it to?
My first and middle name, I wouldn't want to change. My last name, right now back to Herget.
3. Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for $1000?
Yep.
************DUMBOLOGY******************
1. How many pairs of flip flops do you own?
none. I don't like the little part that goes between your toes.
2. Last time you had a run-in with the cops?
Uhmmmmm... don't remember. Long time ago.
3. Last person you talked to?
Cait and Owen before I laid down.
4. Last person you hugged?
Joy at pottery.
**************FAVORITOLOGY****************
1. Season ?
Fall and the Spring. When it's warm, but not HOT.
2. Holiday?
Christmas and Halloween
3. Day of the week?
Saturday
4. Month?
May ? I guess.
***********CURRENTOLOGY*****************
1. Missing someone?
Yes. OMG yes.
2. Mood?
Tired.
3. What are you listening to?
the hum of my laptop
4. Watching?
uhm... my computer screen?
***************RANDOMOLOGY*****************
1. First place you went this morning?
My desk to sign in for work. First place out of the house, Dunkin Donuts for coffee.
2. What's the last movie you saw?
The Proposal. It was awesome.
3. Do you smile often?
Recently, yes. :)
***************OTHEROLOGY*****************
1. Do you always answer your phone?
Nope
2. It's four in the morning and you get a text message, who is it?
Could be a few people. The immediate person who comes to mind right now is Sean. :)
3. If you could change your eye color what would it be?
Wouldn't want to.
4. Do you prefer cold or hot?
Cooler but not cold.
5. What's your favorite gossip magazine?
Err... don't have one
6. Have you ever had a pet fish?
Yep, goldfish and betafish.
8. What's on your wish list for your birthday?
I dunno, way to early to think about that.
9. Can you do push ups?
Girly ones.
10. Can you do a chin up?
Nope
11. Does the future make you more nervous or excited?
Excited!
12. Do you have any saved texts?
Yep :)
13. Ever been in a car wreck?
Yes
14. Do you have an accent?
Nope
15. What is the last song to make you cry?
Don't remember. Butterfly kisses used to make me cry all the time.
16. Plans tonight?
Sleep!
17. Have you ever felt like you hit rock bottom?
Yeah
18. Name 3 things you bought yesterday.
Coffee, Muffin, aaaaaaaaaaaaand I don't think anything else.
19. Have you ever been given roses?
Yes - I love roses among other flowers.
20. Current worry?
Sean's transfer. If it'll work out. If we need to make a different plan. Etc.
21. Current hate right now?
I try not to hate anything, but right now I'm disliking work a lot.
22. Met someone who changed your life?
Yes, a lot of people have changed my life.
23. How will you bring in the New Year?
No idea at this point. New Years Eve is a ways off.
24. What song represents you?
Bitch by Meredith Brooks, haha
25. Name three people who might complete this?
I'm posting it to my blog, not for others to do, unless they want to take it.
26. Would you go back in time if you were given the chance?
Hmmm.. maybe? I think so but probably just so I could reexperience some things I've forgotten.
27. Have you ever dated someone longer than a year?
Yep
28. Do you have any tattoos/piercings?
yes
30. Does anyone love you?
yes
31. Ever had someone sing to you?
yes
32. When did you last cry??
couple nights ago
33. Do you like to cuddle?
I'm a HUGE cuddler. I'm a snuggle cuddle maniac.
34. Have you held hands with anyone today?
nope
35. What kind of music did you listen to in elementary school?
no idea. I don't remember things from that age.
36. Do you like pulpy orange juice?
Yes! .. Mmm.
Pickles!
Ok, so I couldn't think of a good title. I seldom can, so I'm just going to blurt whatever comes to mind if I'm having a blank moment.
My honey got home from his trip to Iowa today. Yay! Safe and sound after another 22 hour long drive. Whew! We got to talk tonight for longer than we have for the last week and it was great. He also showed me the present he got for me while he was in Iowa. hehe. We both couldn't wait for the surprise. I LOVE IT! I've never really been able to do the name brand clothes thing as I haven't really been able to afford it or justify to myself spending a lot on myself for clothes. Well, he had mentioned getting me something name brand eventually and did. WOOOOT!.. Who's a lucky woman? I AM! It's a super cute white, pink, green, fuzzy comfy outfit from Victoria Secret, from the "PINK" clothing line. OMG I can't wait to get it in the mail, it looks so comfy. It's a lighter weight hoody that says "FREE HUGS" in bold letters across the back and then long pants that side "LOVE PINK" down the side. It's got other super cute details too. I'll totally take pictures and put them up once I have them. I'm totally psych'd. :) OH! .. In fact, now that I think of it. I can link a picture from the VS website. Here we go!
...and.....
I have the bestest boyfriend in the whole wide world. :) I've been grinning ear to ear since I spoke with him earlier tonight.
My honey got home from his trip to Iowa today. Yay! Safe and sound after another 22 hour long drive. Whew! We got to talk tonight for longer than we have for the last week and it was great. He also showed me the present he got for me while he was in Iowa. hehe. We both couldn't wait for the surprise. I LOVE IT! I've never really been able to do the name brand clothes thing as I haven't really been able to afford it or justify to myself spending a lot on myself for clothes. Well, he had mentioned getting me something name brand eventually and did. WOOOOT!.. Who's a lucky woman? I AM! It's a super cute white, pink, green, fuzzy comfy outfit from Victoria Secret, from the "PINK" clothing line. OMG I can't wait to get it in the mail, it looks so comfy. It's a lighter weight hoody that says "FREE HUGS" in bold letters across the back and then long pants that side "LOVE PINK" down the side. It's got other super cute details too. I'll totally take pictures and put them up once I have them. I'm totally psych'd. :) OH! .. In fact, now that I think of it. I can link a picture from the VS website. Here we go!
...and.....
I have the bestest boyfriend in the whole wide world. :) I've been grinning ear to ear since I spoke with him earlier tonight.
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Writing again..
So... I haven't written in a long while... there are several reasons for that. Mostly because I didn't want some people who know about my blog reading about what I had to say. I know, I know, then why journal online? Eh, one of the main reasons is because I type a lot better than I write - not to mention a lot faster. Secondary reason is that when it's saved on the internet it seems to never go away. (which might be a bad thing). I've written in books before and written on hard drives before - a couple of both have been lost - so I write here. And yes, I know my puncuation and spelling sucks, but it's allowed to here.
I think I've mostly decided that I'm not going to write a lot of detail about super emotional personal stuff here; but hell that may change too.
Biggest update. Dave and I are getting a divorce. I moved out at the end of April and then told him at the end of May that I wanted the divorce. There are multiple reasons and sadly he and I don't see eye to eye on most all of those reasons. My biggest heartache about the divorce is losing someone who was my best friend for 7 years. There is no one that has really stood by me in the way Dave did for those years and I will never feel ungrateful for all the support and love he always showed me. He really is such a good person. He's just not one that I'm in love with anymore.
Dave is now dating someone else and has been for a couple of months. I'm also seeing someone else, Sean. I've fallen hard and fast ... it's scary in a lot of ways ... and it's not something I expected at all. The last moment I expected to meet someone so wonderful would be while going through a divorce. I'm not going to go to far into detail about things with he and I at the moment. We'll just say for now that I'm very happy with where things seem to be leading with this very special man.
I've been keeping myself busy. My work with the horses has picked back up and is quite involved. I technically have 5 horses that I'm currently working with or riding, but I'm only riding 2 of them occasionally right now. Katie - I ride out at Patti's barn, but Patti is also doing a lot of work with her for the upcoming show season. Joshua - is my newest project and the one I'm riding the most, he's owned by a woman named Sue that I was introduced to by Patti. Sadie - Is another one of Sue's horses that I ride occasionally. Both Joshua and Sadie are fairly well trained in English and Sue (owner) would like them slowed down for Western, so I'm helping her work on that. I'm bringing Joshua to a lesson clinic Saturday evening. Finally I occasionally ride Blue and Suede. Arthur and Lynn are their owners. They'd like me to work with them a lot more this fall as Arthur will be very busy running his hurricane repair business. It's crazy busy and I love it, but I'm hoping to get settled in to working with only 1 or 2 horses soon so I can show that one specific horse during the show season. I dunno, we'll see how it goes.
I'm dealing with a horrific bout of insomnia recently. I don't really sleep well anymore period. I was hoping that writing would start to get me tired tonight but it seems to have been an idle hope. I've been seeing a therapist down here and the last time I spoke with her she suggested trying to find some hypnotherapy CD's for helping me to get to sleep or stay asleep. I haven't done that yet, but it really might be worth a shot. The lack of good sleep has been messing with my work schedule, and wreaking havic on my emotions. I'm keeping most of the emotional crap contained as I don't want it to bug others and well, for the most part it's not a huge deal and I can handle things fine ... but it's still starting to stress me out.
Anyhow, I'm going to sign out for now, maybe read for a bit and if that doesn't work take half of a sleeping pill to try and help me reach sleep.
P.S. Ewoks are da'bomb.
I think I've mostly decided that I'm not going to write a lot of detail about super emotional personal stuff here; but hell that may change too.
Biggest update. Dave and I are getting a divorce. I moved out at the end of April and then told him at the end of May that I wanted the divorce. There are multiple reasons and sadly he and I don't see eye to eye on most all of those reasons. My biggest heartache about the divorce is losing someone who was my best friend for 7 years. There is no one that has really stood by me in the way Dave did for those years and I will never feel ungrateful for all the support and love he always showed me. He really is such a good person. He's just not one that I'm in love with anymore.
Dave is now dating someone else and has been for a couple of months. I'm also seeing someone else, Sean. I've fallen hard and fast ... it's scary in a lot of ways ... and it's not something I expected at all. The last moment I expected to meet someone so wonderful would be while going through a divorce. I'm not going to go to far into detail about things with he and I at the moment. We'll just say for now that I'm very happy with where things seem to be leading with this very special man.
I've been keeping myself busy. My work with the horses has picked back up and is quite involved. I technically have 5 horses that I'm currently working with or riding, but I'm only riding 2 of them occasionally right now. Katie - I ride out at Patti's barn, but Patti is also doing a lot of work with her for the upcoming show season. Joshua - is my newest project and the one I'm riding the most, he's owned by a woman named Sue that I was introduced to by Patti. Sadie - Is another one of Sue's horses that I ride occasionally. Both Joshua and Sadie are fairly well trained in English and Sue (owner) would like them slowed down for Western, so I'm helping her work on that. I'm bringing Joshua to a lesson clinic Saturday evening. Finally I occasionally ride Blue and Suede. Arthur and Lynn are their owners. They'd like me to work with them a lot more this fall as Arthur will be very busy running his hurricane repair business. It's crazy busy and I love it, but I'm hoping to get settled in to working with only 1 or 2 horses soon so I can show that one specific horse during the show season. I dunno, we'll see how it goes.
I'm dealing with a horrific bout of insomnia recently. I don't really sleep well anymore period. I was hoping that writing would start to get me tired tonight but it seems to have been an idle hope. I've been seeing a therapist down here and the last time I spoke with her she suggested trying to find some hypnotherapy CD's for helping me to get to sleep or stay asleep. I haven't done that yet, but it really might be worth a shot. The lack of good sleep has been messing with my work schedule, and wreaking havic on my emotions. I'm keeping most of the emotional crap contained as I don't want it to bug others and well, for the most part it's not a huge deal and I can handle things fine ... but it's still starting to stress me out.
Anyhow, I'm going to sign out for now, maybe read for a bit and if that doesn't work take half of a sleeping pill to try and help me reach sleep.
P.S. Ewoks are da'bomb.
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
Time to write after a month off
It's late and I honestly don't know how much I will write, but I've been thinking about it on and off all day so I figured it was a good sign that I was in need of writing again.
I wish I could say things were better. If anything things are more confusing right now than I think they ever have been in my life. I don't know, maybe not. I had some pretty bad years with my ex, but I don't think those were really confusing for me, I was pretty messed up then so I kinda just went with whatever the ex said. *shudder* Ok, moving on from that subject.
My ankle and knee are doing better and improving slowly, but well. My orthopedic doctor was very pleased with my progress when I saw him on 4/27. I start physical therapy this Thursday and I'm hoping that maybe, just maybe, with PT I'll be able to go back to riding in a month? It should hopefully be possible. I have to wear the immobilization boot very seldom now which is a relief; I just have to be very aware of where I'm stepping (no uneven ground) and very careful overall. I still get quite a bit of achy pain when I rotate the ankle or am on my feet for more than a few minutes at a time, but I'm told that's all a normal part of the healing process. The weather here has been beautiful and I would love a chance to get out more, but right now I need to limit myself to short walks in the sunlight of about 5 minutes. If I push it I'm asking for a day of pain, being back in the immobilizer for that day, and a swollen ankle and foot. However, I have been trying to spend at least 15 minutes a day in the sunlight in one way or another. It's supposed to help with the blues and be good for the soul right?
Dave and I are now more or less officially separated. He started feeling better, I progressively started feeling worse. I have a lot of frustrations that have built up over the years and when we took time apart, I think it gave me some space to think over everything, and now, I'm just stuck. I don't know what I want anymore. I do know that I'm SO TIRED of always saying "I don't know" because it seems to be the answer in my head to everything I'm asked. Two days ago I moved into a friends place for about a month, probably 6 weeks at most. It's a decision that I made, and Dave accepted the best he could, as I feel I'm not going to be able to figure this out without additional space and time to think. He and I are still 'dating' while I'm in this location. We have plans to see a movie tomorrow and we'll be going to an SCA Event together this upcoming weekend. We both started seeing a marriage counsellor who is currently meeting with us separately. She feels that for right now until we each work through some of our individual problems its the best idea. She advised me this last week to stop trying to rush myself. I'm so desperate to have the right answer that I'm causing myself anxiety attacks and constant stress. So, my new focus for at least the next couple of weeks is to concentrate on one day at a time; to not let anyone push me into making a quick decision, to not try and force myself to come up with all of the answers.
Each day I feel a bit different. Today is another self-hatred day of feeling like I'm just not trying hard enough; that if I was a good person, a good wife, I wouldn't ever consider the possibility of divorce. Yet here I am, on a fence, looking both ways and having no idea which side I'm supposed to land on. The constant turmoil is enough to drive a person insane. How do people know? How do people actually make decisions like this? Right now I'm stuck with feeling it's not possible to make a decision and I'll be in limbo land forever.
I wish I could say things were better. If anything things are more confusing right now than I think they ever have been in my life. I don't know, maybe not. I had some pretty bad years with my ex, but I don't think those were really confusing for me, I was pretty messed up then so I kinda just went with whatever the ex said. *shudder* Ok, moving on from that subject.
My ankle and knee are doing better and improving slowly, but well. My orthopedic doctor was very pleased with my progress when I saw him on 4/27. I start physical therapy this Thursday and I'm hoping that maybe, just maybe, with PT I'll be able to go back to riding in a month? It should hopefully be possible. I have to wear the immobilization boot very seldom now which is a relief; I just have to be very aware of where I'm stepping (no uneven ground) and very careful overall. I still get quite a bit of achy pain when I rotate the ankle or am on my feet for more than a few minutes at a time, but I'm told that's all a normal part of the healing process. The weather here has been beautiful and I would love a chance to get out more, but right now I need to limit myself to short walks in the sunlight of about 5 minutes. If I push it I'm asking for a day of pain, being back in the immobilizer for that day, and a swollen ankle and foot. However, I have been trying to spend at least 15 minutes a day in the sunlight in one way or another. It's supposed to help with the blues and be good for the soul right?
Dave and I are now more or less officially separated. He started feeling better, I progressively started feeling worse. I have a lot of frustrations that have built up over the years and when we took time apart, I think it gave me some space to think over everything, and now, I'm just stuck. I don't know what I want anymore. I do know that I'm SO TIRED of always saying "I don't know" because it seems to be the answer in my head to everything I'm asked. Two days ago I moved into a friends place for about a month, probably 6 weeks at most. It's a decision that I made, and Dave accepted the best he could, as I feel I'm not going to be able to figure this out without additional space and time to think. He and I are still 'dating' while I'm in this location. We have plans to see a movie tomorrow and we'll be going to an SCA Event together this upcoming weekend. We both started seeing a marriage counsellor who is currently meeting with us separately. She feels that for right now until we each work through some of our individual problems its the best idea. She advised me this last week to stop trying to rush myself. I'm so desperate to have the right answer that I'm causing myself anxiety attacks and constant stress. So, my new focus for at least the next couple of weeks is to concentrate on one day at a time; to not let anyone push me into making a quick decision, to not try and force myself to come up with all of the answers.
Each day I feel a bit different. Today is another self-hatred day of feeling like I'm just not trying hard enough; that if I was a good person, a good wife, I wouldn't ever consider the possibility of divorce. Yet here I am, on a fence, looking both ways and having no idea which side I'm supposed to land on. The constant turmoil is enough to drive a person insane. How do people know? How do people actually make decisions like this? Right now I'm stuck with feeling it's not possible to make a decision and I'll be in limbo land forever.
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