It's morning, the day is about to begin, and I have a couple minutes to write.
Sean was up early this morning and I slept in a bit, he's now taking a mid-morning nap on the couch downstairs. It's 9:40am and we're going to his parents for a late breakfast at 10:30am.
Our plans are to have breakfast, go see Bailee for awhile (yep, still own Bailee, our horse!), and then come home a relax. We'll probably play some Rift, watch a movie, and just chill. Rift is an online game, called an MMO, that we play together. It's a fun little way to pass the time and do something we both enjoy.
Its Sunday an we're used to usually get Andrew back today, Sean's teenage son, my stepson. :) We switched the schedule up a bit though so we'll actually be getting him back on Friday. It's really only been a couple days since we've seen him, as we dropped him off at his Mom's on Friday, but I guess the norm of usually seeing him Sunday afternoon/evening has me thinking about him and missing him a bit. Drew is 16 years old, almost 17, eek!.. and I absolutely love and adore him. He has the fairly typical frustrating teenager atributes and can be both rebelious and rude at times, but he is overall such a good young man. He's polite, helpful, kind, and loving. He has a passion for animals that reminds me much of myself when I was his age. I think he enjoys being with animals more than people at times - also a reminder of myself. :) When Sean and I are busy doing something and he's at home, it never fails that he'll stop by and ask if we need anything or if he can help out. I remember when I first met him that I thought this was almost an odd attritube and wondered if there was more behind it, but there really isn't, Drew just loves to be helpful and involved. It's one of the many things I love about him. We go grocery shopping together sometimes, just the two of us, and I always enjoy it. If I'm held up at the deli, he runs to get other things on the list. He stays by my side and always wants to push the cart. Best of all, numerous times I've seen him stop in an aisle and offer to help someone older, or a bit shorter, reach something, pick up something heavy to put in a cart, or help in another way. Andrew will do great things because he has one of the biggest hearts I know.
We have 50/50 custody of Drew with his Mom. She lives a few miles away from us and we switch off every Friday. The custody situation has switched around a few times in Drew's life and I give him credit for adapting through what has been a tough situation at times. 2 years ago when we moved from the Tampa area up to Pensacola, we had full custody in order to keep Drew in the Gulf Breeze School District when his Mom lived in Pensacola with her boyfriend. This last summer, Crystal, his Mom, moved to Gulf Breeze as well and we all agreed to switch the situation to 1 week there and 1 week here. There we concerns on if this would work out, but overall it seems to go very well and smooth.
It's almost 10am and time to get ready to go, Sean's parents live about 15 minutes from us, so we'll need to head out soon.
Sunday, January 22, 2012
Monday, January 9, 2012
A year and some odd months.. what happened to 2011?
2011 came and went and I wrote nothing .................... oops. I guess all the times in 2009 and 2010 that I said I wanted to write more didn't really happen.
Truth be told I've been looking at my blog for the last 2 weeks trying to get up the motivation to write. There's a whole lot that happens when you don't write for about 18 months and there's really no way to cover it all.
A few things that have been happening / changing:
- Sean and I got married November 5, 2011, it was a beautiful wedding. The weather was perfect, we had a great time, it was wonderful to see many of our friends in family. I'll cover more details on this later.
- Sean and I both are working new jobs.
Sean is working for Hixardt as a Network Engineer and I couldn't be more proud of him. He was really worried throughout the interview process and wanted the job so badly. He of course breezed through the process with flying colors. It's a great company with tons of room for advancement. They're excited and very encouraging when it comes to furthering Sean's education so he can move up quickly within the company. Other than when I worked at SunLife, I've never seen a company so proactive in wanting to further there employees education and watch them advance.
I'm working for a company called Healthstat, Inc, who's newest client is BCBS of Florida. I work in the BCBS of Florida medical clinic as a Receptionist. I hope to advance into other things for either Healthstat, Inc or BCBS of Florida within the next year as well. It's been an exciting opportunity as the medical clinic is one of the first of it's kind. BCBS of Florida as an insurance company, is moving forward with opening several medical clinics where there 'insured' will be seen exclusively as patients of physicians that work for BCBS. It's really a great plan. Ideally it will eliminate a large amount of the confusion that can come up with patients when dealing with medical billing, referrals, procedures, and physicians. It allows for everything to be handled and managed within the same company / spectrum.
-My sister in the middle moved to Walla Walla, WA from Tucson, AZ, and had her second baby.
Another boy, named Wesley, and he's beautiful in every way. Sadly I've only gotten to see him via webcam so far. I'm hoping that a time will become available soon that I can go spend a few days with them in WA.
-Sean and I decided that we wanted to have a child of our own and start a family.
This comes with some sad news. Sean and I started trying immediately for a child after we got married. On December 16th it was confirmed that I was pregnant and we were thrilled. On December 17th, we told my family and his family the news. Everyone was of course very excited. On December 20th while at work I started to bleed and cramp heavily. On December 23rd, the information that we already knew, was officially confirmed that I had miscarried. The reason I say it was "confirmed" on this date is because you have to wait a few days to see if your hormone levels drop enough for a pregnancy test to reflect 'negative'.
To say that we were devasted is an understatement. We had a few days that were very difficult emotionally. I cried a lot. Sean was quiet and withdrawn. We were there for each other in silence as neither of us really knew what to say or how to talk about it. We cuddled, watched movies, and just stayed close to each other. We've since come to a fairly peaceful place. We know that there could've possibly been something wrong with the baby, in which case it would've been better that we lost him or her, and we know that while horrible, these things do happen. We know that we'll eventually try again, though for a short time we're going to wait.
-I'm currently off my anti-depressant medication
I mention this as it's recently started to become a real problem and challenge. I don't think I've ever even mentioned prior in my blog that I took an anti-depressant, but I have for a large portion of my life.
I started taking Celexa for my anxiety and depression when I was around 18 years old. I've gone off it a few times since then and quite honestly, within a few months, its always become a problem for me and I end up back on it. A long time ago I had to come to terms with the fact that I have some form of medical imbalance that makes this form of a medication a need for me. However, on that note, it doesn't make it easy for me to know that it's a need. Quite frankly, I hate it. Loathe it.
A few years ago a psychiatrist that I saw told me that the world does not judge those who have diabetes, hypertension, heart disease, and other illnesses that require medication; and that I shouldn't judge myself any more than I would those people. She had a point. A very valid point. I'm aware that it's societies standards and view points that have created the mindset that if you take medication an emotional medical problem, then you're extremely 'screwed up'. The problem may be emotional in nature, but guess what world, there are now tests that prove that it's a *physical* imbalance in the body that creates the problem. Now if only that little fact could make me feel completely better about having to take the medication.
Anyhow, as said above, it's started to become a problem that I'm not longer taking the medication. It's been about 8 weeks, and I'm struggling with more anxiety, mood swings, depression, and an overall inability to handle small daily life problems. I came off the medication because Sean and I wanted to try to have a baby and I simply refuse, no matter how small the risk, to stay on it while pregnant or trying to get pregnant.
Now, I can add that there have been additional problems in the last 4-6 weeks that could be contributing to the problem. The miscarriage, obviously, and other problems that I've chosen not to write about here that Sean and I have been working through. However, that being said, I know my body, and know my mind, and realize that this last week I've been feeling much more out of control --- and there isn't anything major and stressful that has happened or occurred in the last couple of weeks.
Yesterday I lost control of my emotions to a severe degree. I'm very grateful to Sean, my dear husband, for his support and love. It was by far the worst that he's ever seen me at in the almost 3 years that we've known each other. As soon as I got to a place that I was able to communicate through broken words and tears what was happening he sat with me, held me, comforted me, stroked my hair, rocked my gently, and soothed me with words of reassurance as I cried from the depth of my soul. This morning he called after leaving for work to check on me and see how I was feeling and offered words of encouragement and understanding when I explained how it had been hard for me to get up and going.
Depression comes in many forms and degrees, and the degree that I have is caused by a physical imbalance, one that I do need medication to maintain. For now until we start trying to have a baby again, we decided it would be best for me to discuss with my doctor starting to take my medication again.
I do want to add that this afternoon / evening I am feeling quite a bit better than I did yesterday and this morning. I went to work, came home and got some cleaning done, and plan to start dinner in just a few moments.
I'm setting a goal to at minimum try and write at least once a month this year. We'll see how it goes. :)
Truth be told I've been looking at my blog for the last 2 weeks trying to get up the motivation to write. There's a whole lot that happens when you don't write for about 18 months and there's really no way to cover it all.
A few things that have been happening / changing:
- Sean and I got married November 5, 2011, it was a beautiful wedding. The weather was perfect, we had a great time, it was wonderful to see many of our friends in family. I'll cover more details on this later.
- Sean and I both are working new jobs.
Sean is working for Hixardt as a Network Engineer and I couldn't be more proud of him. He was really worried throughout the interview process and wanted the job so badly. He of course breezed through the process with flying colors. It's a great company with tons of room for advancement. They're excited and very encouraging when it comes to furthering Sean's education so he can move up quickly within the company. Other than when I worked at SunLife, I've never seen a company so proactive in wanting to further there employees education and watch them advance.
I'm working for a company called Healthstat, Inc, who's newest client is BCBS of Florida. I work in the BCBS of Florida medical clinic as a Receptionist. I hope to advance into other things for either Healthstat, Inc or BCBS of Florida within the next year as well. It's been an exciting opportunity as the medical clinic is one of the first of it's kind. BCBS of Florida as an insurance company, is moving forward with opening several medical clinics where there 'insured' will be seen exclusively as patients of physicians that work for BCBS. It's really a great plan. Ideally it will eliminate a large amount of the confusion that can come up with patients when dealing with medical billing, referrals, procedures, and physicians. It allows for everything to be handled and managed within the same company / spectrum.
-My sister in the middle moved to Walla Walla, WA from Tucson, AZ, and had her second baby.
Another boy, named Wesley, and he's beautiful in every way. Sadly I've only gotten to see him via webcam so far. I'm hoping that a time will become available soon that I can go spend a few days with them in WA.
-Sean and I decided that we wanted to have a child of our own and start a family.
This comes with some sad news. Sean and I started trying immediately for a child after we got married. On December 16th it was confirmed that I was pregnant and we were thrilled. On December 17th, we told my family and his family the news. Everyone was of course very excited. On December 20th while at work I started to bleed and cramp heavily. On December 23rd, the information that we already knew, was officially confirmed that I had miscarried. The reason I say it was "confirmed" on this date is because you have to wait a few days to see if your hormone levels drop enough for a pregnancy test to reflect 'negative'.
To say that we were devasted is an understatement. We had a few days that were very difficult emotionally. I cried a lot. Sean was quiet and withdrawn. We were there for each other in silence as neither of us really knew what to say or how to talk about it. We cuddled, watched movies, and just stayed close to each other. We've since come to a fairly peaceful place. We know that there could've possibly been something wrong with the baby, in which case it would've been better that we lost him or her, and we know that while horrible, these things do happen. We know that we'll eventually try again, though for a short time we're going to wait.
-I'm currently off my anti-depressant medication
I mention this as it's recently started to become a real problem and challenge. I don't think I've ever even mentioned prior in my blog that I took an anti-depressant, but I have for a large portion of my life.
I started taking Celexa for my anxiety and depression when I was around 18 years old. I've gone off it a few times since then and quite honestly, within a few months, its always become a problem for me and I end up back on it. A long time ago I had to come to terms with the fact that I have some form of medical imbalance that makes this form of a medication a need for me. However, on that note, it doesn't make it easy for me to know that it's a need. Quite frankly, I hate it. Loathe it.
A few years ago a psychiatrist that I saw told me that the world does not judge those who have diabetes, hypertension, heart disease, and other illnesses that require medication; and that I shouldn't judge myself any more than I would those people. She had a point. A very valid point. I'm aware that it's societies standards and view points that have created the mindset that if you take medication an emotional medical problem, then you're extremely 'screwed up'. The problem may be emotional in nature, but guess what world, there are now tests that prove that it's a *physical* imbalance in the body that creates the problem. Now if only that little fact could make me feel completely better about having to take the medication.
Anyhow, as said above, it's started to become a problem that I'm not longer taking the medication. It's been about 8 weeks, and I'm struggling with more anxiety, mood swings, depression, and an overall inability to handle small daily life problems. I came off the medication because Sean and I wanted to try to have a baby and I simply refuse, no matter how small the risk, to stay on it while pregnant or trying to get pregnant.
Now, I can add that there have been additional problems in the last 4-6 weeks that could be contributing to the problem. The miscarriage, obviously, and other problems that I've chosen not to write about here that Sean and I have been working through. However, that being said, I know my body, and know my mind, and realize that this last week I've been feeling much more out of control --- and there isn't anything major and stressful that has happened or occurred in the last couple of weeks.
Yesterday I lost control of my emotions to a severe degree. I'm very grateful to Sean, my dear husband, for his support and love. It was by far the worst that he's ever seen me at in the almost 3 years that we've known each other. As soon as I got to a place that I was able to communicate through broken words and tears what was happening he sat with me, held me, comforted me, stroked my hair, rocked my gently, and soothed me with words of reassurance as I cried from the depth of my soul. This morning he called after leaving for work to check on me and see how I was feeling and offered words of encouragement and understanding when I explained how it had been hard for me to get up and going.
Depression comes in many forms and degrees, and the degree that I have is caused by a physical imbalance, one that I do need medication to maintain. For now until we start trying to have a baby again, we decided it would be best for me to discuss with my doctor starting to take my medication again.
I do want to add that this afternoon / evening I am feeling quite a bit better than I did yesterday and this morning. I went to work, came home and got some cleaning done, and plan to start dinner in just a few moments.
I'm setting a goal to at minimum try and write at least once a month this year. We'll see how it goes. :)
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
ENGAGED!!!!!!!
It's been a few days since the big announcement, but the "Title" says it all in truth... I'm engaged!!!!!!!!!!!!! And I'm so so happy. Joyful and truly, fully, completely filled with happiness. It's a wonderful feeling.My ring... my gorgeous, beautiful ring is outstanding. It's platinum and it has a marquis center diamond that is just under 3/4 of a carat. On the sides are 3 round diamonds that also total about 3/4 of a carat. I have 1.5 carats of DIAMONDS on my finger!!!! OMG! hehehe. Ok that's the giddy silly bouncy self typing.
I've of course attached a picture off the the right. :)
And of course... I must share all of the details of the night of the engagement...
We all (Sean, his Mom, his Dad, and his Grandfather) went out as a family to a place called Vic and Ike's (http://vic-and-ikes.com/), it's a new, very classy and modern restaurant downtown. We'd been talking about going for a couple of weeks once Sean's Grandfather was in town; little did I know that everyone knew of the additional plans at the restaurant other than me. :)
We arrived around 6:30pm and had an absolutely outstanding dinner which included a carpaccio of Angus Beef for an appetizer, delicious crab bisque for a starter, and a wonderful scallop dish for me. We sat at a round table together, Sean to my left, my soon to be father-in-law to my right, with my soon to be mother-in-law across the round from me. The restaurant is filled with black and white photographs of John Wayne, Frank Sinatra, and other classic legends. Frank Sinatra plays quietly and romantically over the speakers through-out the restaurant.
We had brought mother's camera with us which I thought nothing of, we've been taking pictures the entire time that grandpa has been here.
Through-out the evening there were probably a couple of hints that had I known what was happening could've clued me in, but I was totally oblivious. Sean's hands were clammy after bringing his Grandfather to the restroom; little did I know this was right before his planned time for the proposal. Additionally he seemed very fidgety and on edge at some points through-out dinner, in fact at one point I touched his hand and asked if he was alright as he seemed on edge.
The time for dessert came, and everyone had been very insistent through dinner that we all save room as their desserts were outstanding as well. I ordered a peach cheesecake and the others ordered a crazy-insane chocolaty dessert. The desserts came out about 15 minutes later and our waiter went around setting them down on the table, coming to Sean and I last. After setting down our desserts I could feel our waiters presence behind me still and I remember wondering what he was doing, thinking it was odd he was still standing there. ........
He then sat another platter down on the table, one that had a dark green box in the center of it. Sean's mom had pulled out her camera and started taking pictures. My face in the first picture says it fairly well. I was completely confused. haha. I looked at Sean's Mom, then his Dad, then back at Sean as he picked up the box from the platter and suddenly it dawned on me what was happening. The rest is almost a surreal blur. Sean got down on one knee in front of my chair and opened the box and said simply and beautifully, "I thought now would be a good time to ask, will you marry me?". I think I uttered, "oh my gosh....oh my gosh" as few times and I again looked to Sean's mom, grandfather, and dad, almost as if questioning if this was really happening. I then turned back to Sean and yelled, "of course!" and gave him a huge hug. He slipped my gorgeous ring onto my finger and everyone in the restaurant started to clap. As the clapping continued I held Sean's face in my hands and kissed him long and gentle. I was stunned, in awe, and so unbelievably happy.
Sean told me a few minutes later that I had scared him for a moment because I wasn't saying anything! hahaha. This pause was of course only due to my stunned state over what was happening. :) I've known for months that I would say "Yes" or in this case "Of course!" if and when Sean asked me for my hand in marriage.
A moment later I said that I absolutely had to call my Mom and apologized for being rude at the table. It was then that Sean told me that she already knew. He had called her a few days previous and asked for her permission to marry me. My heart fills with joy just typing it again now. It meant so much to me. I called my Mom with tears of happiness and said when she answered, "I can't believe you knew!"... I speak to her almost daily and she had never even let on in the tiniest way.
To top the evening off at the restaurant, our wonderful and talented chef came out (there's a picture of him as well), offered us his congratulations and gave us a bottle of wine as a gift. It was such a sweet and kind gesture.
The rest of the night is a total blur of phone calls, starring at my sparkly gorgeous ring, pictures, hugs, congratulations, and then finally snuggling up to my fiancé and drifting off to sleep.
I still look at the ring about every ten minutes; I love to look at the sparkle of the diamonds. It's absolutely stunning and perfect, just like my fiancé, the man I look forward to spending forever with.
Monday, July 12, 2010
Manic Monday - Meme and truth
The title is actually the name of a daily meme, but the title also fits with the way this day has been.
My day started rough... I mean... rooooooooough... I woke up at about 6:30am with the worst stomach cramps and case of the #2's you can imagine. Graphic, fairly, but guess what, its my blog. :D Over and hour of running to and from the bathroom and my stomach finally settled down. Note to self: DO NOT have a large cup of coffee before bed. It's really the only thing I can rack it up to.
After my stomach settled and Sean got back from not being selected for Jury Duty (yay!), we got several errands done. I got some paystubs from my employer that I need in order to be seen at a free clinic here for blood work. We went to Pensacola College to start all the application paperwork for me and finish up some work for Sean. We went to David's Bridal to pick up my Maid of Honor dress for my friends wedding. Last but not least we checked out a stable in Milton as a possibility for Bailee. They currently have no stalls available so it isn't an option at the moment.
Sean got a call for an interview at a great company which I'm thrilled about. I didn't hear back about my interview that I had on Friday and as the day on I've gotten more and more down. SO.. when I saw this meme I figured it would be a good one for me to possibly get me out of this mopey mood.
Name 5 of the simple pleasures in your life: Hmm.. simple pleasures. I don't consider things like Sean, Bailee, letters from my son, and my family to be simple pleasures - but those are four big gynormous pleasures in my life.
Simple pleasures I partake in: Swimming in a cool pool. Walking in the sand next to the ocean. Going on a long horseback ride. Reading a good book in a quiet room. Doing some of my crafty things I enjoy like cross-stitching or weaving.
What do you like to do on a rainy day? Snuggle deep into the covers with my honey and hide. We play silly games with each other when we go to sleep at night and sometimes when we wake up in the morning. Tickling, raptor-toe (inside thing), wrestling, touched-you-last... just pure silliness really. One of the many things I love and adore about Sean is that we play and can be silly together.
I deserve a _good job__. (this was a fill in the blank question) Really. Truely. Honestly. I do. I'm a hard worker and a good worker. I've interviewed SO much in this tiny economy barren town and I've yet to have something reasonable in the slighest way come through. I'm SO frustrated. I mean...I *rock* these interviews. They tell me they like me, they tell me I'm in their top choices, and when they call back and say, "no thank you", I ask what could I have done better the answer is always the same. "You did great and you're well qualified, there are just many good applicants out there right now and we decided to go with someone else. We'll keep you in mind though in the future". Ok fine, but now, when's it my turn?
My day started rough... I mean... rooooooooough... I woke up at about 6:30am with the worst stomach cramps and case of the #2's you can imagine. Graphic, fairly, but guess what, its my blog. :D Over and hour of running to and from the bathroom and my stomach finally settled down. Note to self: DO NOT have a large cup of coffee before bed. It's really the only thing I can rack it up to.
After my stomach settled and Sean got back from not being selected for Jury Duty (yay!), we got several errands done. I got some paystubs from my employer that I need in order to be seen at a free clinic here for blood work. We went to Pensacola College to start all the application paperwork for me and finish up some work for Sean. We went to David's Bridal to pick up my Maid of Honor dress for my friends wedding. Last but not least we checked out a stable in Milton as a possibility for Bailee. They currently have no stalls available so it isn't an option at the moment.
Sean got a call for an interview at a great company which I'm thrilled about. I didn't hear back about my interview that I had on Friday and as the day on I've gotten more and more down. SO.. when I saw this meme I figured it would be a good one for me to possibly get me out of this mopey mood.
Name 5 of the simple pleasures in your life: Hmm.. simple pleasures. I don't consider things like Sean, Bailee, letters from my son, and my family to be simple pleasures - but those are four big gynormous pleasures in my life.
Simple pleasures I partake in: Swimming in a cool pool. Walking in the sand next to the ocean. Going on a long horseback ride. Reading a good book in a quiet room. Doing some of my crafty things I enjoy like cross-stitching or weaving.
What do you like to do on a rainy day? Snuggle deep into the covers with my honey and hide. We play silly games with each other when we go to sleep at night and sometimes when we wake up in the morning. Tickling, raptor-toe (inside thing), wrestling, touched-you-last... just pure silliness really. One of the many things I love and adore about Sean is that we play and can be silly together.
I deserve a _good job__. (this was a fill in the blank question) Really. Truely. Honestly. I do. I'm a hard worker and a good worker. I've interviewed SO much in this tiny economy barren town and I've yet to have something reasonable in the slighest way come through. I'm SO frustrated. I mean...I *rock* these interviews. They tell me they like me, they tell me I'm in their top choices, and when they call back and say, "no thank you", I ask what could I have done better the answer is always the same. "You did great and you're well qualified, there are just many good applicants out there right now and we decided to go with someone else. We'll keep you in mind though in the future". Ok fine, but now, when's it my turn?
Sunday, July 11, 2010
Coffee and Sleep
I find it incredibly ridiculous that I would do this to myself, but yet, I have... yes, I drank a very large cup of coffee about an hour prior to the time I planned to go to bed. Wasn't I complaining earlier about my lack of sleep? Oh yes, that's right, I was. ARGH!!
So, perhaps staring at a way to bright screen in a dark room will do something to help me out over the next few minutes. Sadly it has not thrilled my dear sweet honey who is curled up trying to sleep next to me. No worries my 'now drifting into dreamland' dear, I'll make this fairly short. In the meantime, please try to have sweeter dreams than we both did last night.
The last few days and really the last week I have had serious wedding on the brain. Not for me (for the most part, lol) but because I'm thrilled and honored to be the Maid of Honor at an upcoming wedding in this area. The gals name is Sarah and her fiance' is Jeremy. We met them a few months ago through our horses and have hit it off as good friends. We're having a lot of fun. Her wedding is on Aug 28th and is being done on a very tight, mostly non-existant budget. She's had a lot of friends come through to help with some things which is wonderful. The wedding will be at the farm where we currently keep Bailee, the owner of the farm is a lawyer and is able to officiate the wedding and is doing so for free. Jeremy's Mom was kind enough to pay for the catered food from Sonny's BBQ. I'll be buying a few dozen roses before hand and putting together her boutiques the night before. A good friend of hers paid for her wedding dress and most of the accessories to go with it. She has really been blessed and I'm very happy for her. It will be a unique and super fun wedding. She's going to be riding her horse, Renegade to the aisle and possibly down the aisle depending on how he behaves and then her and Jeremy will ride off together after the ceremony. Very sweet. :) They'll of course come right back for the reception portion that we'll be having on the property as well.
My sister Bekah helped me come up with a fun idea for the centerpieces. We're going to be using large mason jars (or possibly some vases) and putting a large bunch of hay in them so it spirals a bit and flows out to all sides, then we'll put a few daises (possibly roses) in the center. A red and yellow ribbon around the jar/vase will be the finishing touches. They'll be easy and inexpensive to put together, perfect.
I'm also working on planning and putting together Sarah's Bridal Shower, we have the location and I have a few ideas, but quite honestly, I'm hoping to find a way to have some more funds very quickly before much longer. I need a way to buy my dress for the wedding AND the things I need for the shower. Quite honestly...not having a full-time job is hindering that quite a bit. I have a few things in the works and hopefully one of those will come through.
I didnt mention earlier that while I haven't been able to find another job, I am still working for the Dr's practice that Sean's Mom works for. The problem is that my hours there have had to be cut down to part time. Next week they only need me 2 days which is only going to be 16 hours. Ughh.
Sean is also still looking for other work, but right now is getting fairly steady hours on and off doing free-lance IT work for the office. When they keep him busy the funds are wonderful, but during the down time it makes things hard. I know it's really hard on him emotionally too. He really wants to get back to working a full-time job thats with an established company. He worries about taking care of me and our family, which is something that makes me love and adore him even more. He's amazing. We're struggling right now, but the love we have keeps us strong. We're both looking at starting some classes at one of the local colleges this fall and that will help lead us both to bigger and better things as well.
Anyhow, I'm going to turn this thing off and try to close my eyes again. Here's hoping for good sleep and great dreams.
So, perhaps staring at a way to bright screen in a dark room will do something to help me out over the next few minutes. Sadly it has not thrilled my dear sweet honey who is curled up trying to sleep next to me. No worries my 'now drifting into dreamland' dear, I'll make this fairly short. In the meantime, please try to have sweeter dreams than we both did last night.
The last few days and really the last week I have had serious wedding on the brain. Not for me (for the most part, lol) but because I'm thrilled and honored to be the Maid of Honor at an upcoming wedding in this area. The gals name is Sarah and her fiance' is Jeremy. We met them a few months ago through our horses and have hit it off as good friends. We're having a lot of fun. Her wedding is on Aug 28th and is being done on a very tight, mostly non-existant budget. She's had a lot of friends come through to help with some things which is wonderful. The wedding will be at the farm where we currently keep Bailee, the owner of the farm is a lawyer and is able to officiate the wedding and is doing so for free. Jeremy's Mom was kind enough to pay for the catered food from Sonny's BBQ. I'll be buying a few dozen roses before hand and putting together her boutiques the night before. A good friend of hers paid for her wedding dress and most of the accessories to go with it. She has really been blessed and I'm very happy for her. It will be a unique and super fun wedding. She's going to be riding her horse, Renegade to the aisle and possibly down the aisle depending on how he behaves and then her and Jeremy will ride off together after the ceremony. Very sweet. :) They'll of course come right back for the reception portion that we'll be having on the property as well.
My sister Bekah helped me come up with a fun idea for the centerpieces. We're going to be using large mason jars (or possibly some vases) and putting a large bunch of hay in them so it spirals a bit and flows out to all sides, then we'll put a few daises (possibly roses) in the center. A red and yellow ribbon around the jar/vase will be the finishing touches. They'll be easy and inexpensive to put together, perfect.
I'm also working on planning and putting together Sarah's Bridal Shower, we have the location and I have a few ideas, but quite honestly, I'm hoping to find a way to have some more funds very quickly before much longer. I need a way to buy my dress for the wedding AND the things I need for the shower. Quite honestly...not having a full-time job is hindering that quite a bit. I have a few things in the works and hopefully one of those will come through.
I didnt mention earlier that while I haven't been able to find another job, I am still working for the Dr's practice that Sean's Mom works for. The problem is that my hours there have had to be cut down to part time. Next week they only need me 2 days which is only going to be 16 hours. Ughh.
Sean is also still looking for other work, but right now is getting fairly steady hours on and off doing free-lance IT work for the office. When they keep him busy the funds are wonderful, but during the down time it makes things hard. I know it's really hard on him emotionally too. He really wants to get back to working a full-time job thats with an established company. He worries about taking care of me and our family, which is something that makes me love and adore him even more. He's amazing. We're struggling right now, but the love we have keeps us strong. We're both looking at starting some classes at one of the local colleges this fall and that will help lead us both to bigger and better things as well.
Anyhow, I'm going to turn this thing off and try to close my eyes again. Here's hoping for good sleep and great dreams.
Early
It's Sunday and its way to early for me. It probably wouldn't feel that way if I was actually sleeping well, but sleep has been very ellusive recently.
We're going to brunch (breakfast really) with Sean's Mom and Grandpa this morning and somehow us needing to be there at 9:15am equals waking us up at 7:30am. (the restaurant is about 15 minutes away) Oh well, I guess this way we're actually more fully awake by the time we go.
The Sunday Meme's are at times my favorite, though I don't do them very often anymore. I thought an odd question one would be fun. It's two parts so I'm sure next week there will be more odd questions.
--
1. First thing you wash in the shower? My hair. After conditioning I always start with my left arm. Hmm, maybe I'll need to switch that up sometime.
2. What color is your favorite hoodie? Gray
3. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? Most definitely!
4. Do you plan outfits? Very seldom.
5. How are you feeling RIGHT now? Half awake.
6. What's the closest thing to you that's red? "previously read, 50% off" label on a book I recently bought.
7. Tell me about the last dream you remember having? Ugh. That would be last night and it was a nightmare, so no thanks.
8. Did you meet anybody new today? Not yet.
9. What are you craving right now? Waffles.
10. Do you floss? Very seldom, I really should more often.
11. What comes to mind when I say cabbage? My Mom's cabbage rolls. Yummm. Haven't had those in forever.
12. Are you emotional? omg yes. haha. Way to emotional sometimes.
13. Have you ever counted to 1,000? Probably?
14. Do you bite into your ice cream or just lick it? If we're talking about an ice cream cone, I lick it. Ice cream bar, I bite.
15. Do you like your hair? Yep.
16. Do you like yourself? Most of the time.
17. Would you go out to eat with George W. Bush? Sure.
18. What are you listening to right now? The fan and the sound of my typing.
19. Are your parents strict? I'd say they borderline were. I've heard of a lot worse. I think they did a good job.
20. Would you go sky diving? This is a hard one because I really don't think I could. Sometimes I think I might like to... but someone would literally probably have to throw me out of the plane. lol
21. Do you like cottage cheese? Yep.
22. Have you ever met a celebrity? Met as in shook hands with, I'm dont think so. I have eaten in the same restaurant as Nancy Kerrigan (ice skater) and been involved in a conversation with Steve Pool (reporter from Seattle), though I didn't specifically address him. I've also been within touching distance of Michael Jordan as he walked by at a golf tournament and my favorite, Teddy Bruschi from the New England Patriots when he spoke at a work function up in Boston.
We're going to brunch (breakfast really) with Sean's Mom and Grandpa this morning and somehow us needing to be there at 9:15am equals waking us up at 7:30am. (the restaurant is about 15 minutes away) Oh well, I guess this way we're actually more fully awake by the time we go.
The Sunday Meme's are at times my favorite, though I don't do them very often anymore. I thought an odd question one would be fun. It's two parts so I'm sure next week there will be more odd questions.
--
1. First thing you wash in the shower? My hair. After conditioning I always start with my left arm. Hmm, maybe I'll need to switch that up sometime.
2. What color is your favorite hoodie? Gray
3. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? Most definitely!
4. Do you plan outfits? Very seldom.
5. How are you feeling RIGHT now? Half awake.
6. What's the closest thing to you that's red? "previously read, 50% off" label on a book I recently bought.
7. Tell me about the last dream you remember having? Ugh. That would be last night and it was a nightmare, so no thanks.
8. Did you meet anybody new today? Not yet.
9. What are you craving right now? Waffles.
10. Do you floss? Very seldom, I really should more often.
11. What comes to mind when I say cabbage? My Mom's cabbage rolls. Yummm. Haven't had those in forever.
12. Are you emotional? omg yes. haha. Way to emotional sometimes.
13. Have you ever counted to 1,000? Probably?
14. Do you bite into your ice cream or just lick it? If we're talking about an ice cream cone, I lick it. Ice cream bar, I bite.
15. Do you like your hair? Yep.
16. Do you like yourself? Most of the time.
17. Would you go out to eat with George W. Bush? Sure.
18. What are you listening to right now? The fan and the sound of my typing.
19. Are your parents strict? I'd say they borderline were. I've heard of a lot worse. I think they did a good job.
20. Would you go sky diving? This is a hard one because I really don't think I could. Sometimes I think I might like to... but someone would literally probably have to throw me out of the plane. lol
21. Do you like cottage cheese? Yep.
22. Have you ever met a celebrity? Met as in shook hands with, I'm dont think so. I have eaten in the same restaurant as Nancy Kerrigan (ice skater) and been involved in a conversation with Steve Pool (reporter from Seattle), though I didn't specifically address him. I've also been within touching distance of Michael Jordan as he walked by at a golf tournament and my favorite, Teddy Bruschi from the New England Patriots when he spoke at a work function up in Boston.
Saturday, July 10, 2010
A few changes..
I came to the blog site to post tonight, but the new template designer caught my eye and I had to play with that for awhile instead. I imagine that I'll end up playing with it a whole lot in the future.
Not to much has changed in the last couple months. I had a wonderful birthday and celebrated with Sean and his family here in Gulf Breeze.
I recently went and visited my sister Clarissa and my nephew Vincent which also led to me seeing my other sister Bekah and Mom. It was so great to see most of my family. Vincent has gotten gynormous and is so different in so many ways. At the age of two I suppose he changes a bit daily. I miss my family, terribly, but I have no regrets over being in Gulf Breeze with Sean. He makes me so happy and is my family too.
Our horse, Bailee, is doing wonderful. She recently got moved to a new place because we found out that she wasn't being properly fed at the last place we had her. She'll be moved again soon as the farm she's on currently is a temporary 'safe house' of sorts for her. The farm she's at is beautiful...absolutely stunning...we joke with the owner that its a Day Spa for horses. She's being treated like a princess there, fed well, and has recovered from some injuries she sustained. The owner of the barn in Tamara, she's late 40's and is a kind and animal adoring person. The only downfall is that this place is just over an hour away from us. We moved her there due to the kindness of Tamara's heart and because she'd be well cared for, however, now that she's recovering well we're hoping to move her back closer to us within the next couple months.
Sean's grandfather is in town for the week, flew in today. He's a really nice guy and seems to have a geniune and gentle soul. We'll be doing a lot with him this week.
I'm still looking for another job, they're quite hard to come by in this area. In general I have about one interview weekly, sometimes one every couple of weeks, but it just hasn't worked out for me to find placement. I did have what felt like a really excellent interview on Friday and they're making a decision early next week -- I'll admit that I really have my hopes up about this one. It's a job that does billing and front desk work, but it's also a position that involves being the team leader for the front-end. While working at SunLife in Boston I was a Case Coordinator which involved a lot of team leadership; I really enjoyed the position and found it rewarding. Anyhow, fingers and toes crossed on this one.
It's late and most definitely time to snuggle with Sean and watch a movie while we go to sleep. :)
Not to much has changed in the last couple months. I had a wonderful birthday and celebrated with Sean and his family here in Gulf Breeze.
I recently went and visited my sister Clarissa and my nephew Vincent which also led to me seeing my other sister Bekah and Mom. It was so great to see most of my family. Vincent has gotten gynormous and is so different in so many ways. At the age of two I suppose he changes a bit daily. I miss my family, terribly, but I have no regrets over being in Gulf Breeze with Sean. He makes me so happy and is my family too.
Our horse, Bailee, is doing wonderful. She recently got moved to a new place because we found out that she wasn't being properly fed at the last place we had her. She'll be moved again soon as the farm she's on currently is a temporary 'safe house' of sorts for her. The farm she's at is beautiful...absolutely stunning...we joke with the owner that its a Day Spa for horses. She's being treated like a princess there, fed well, and has recovered from some injuries she sustained. The owner of the barn in Tamara, she's late 40's and is a kind and animal adoring person. The only downfall is that this place is just over an hour away from us. We moved her there due to the kindness of Tamara's heart and because she'd be well cared for, however, now that she's recovering well we're hoping to move her back closer to us within the next couple months.
Sean's grandfather is in town for the week, flew in today. He's a really nice guy and seems to have a geniune and gentle soul. We'll be doing a lot with him this week.
I'm still looking for another job, they're quite hard to come by in this area. In general I have about one interview weekly, sometimes one every couple of weeks, but it just hasn't worked out for me to find placement. I did have what felt like a really excellent interview on Friday and they're making a decision early next week -- I'll admit that I really have my hopes up about this one. It's a job that does billing and front desk work, but it's also a position that involves being the team leader for the front-end. While working at SunLife in Boston I was a Case Coordinator which involved a lot of team leadership; I really enjoyed the position and found it rewarding. Anyhow, fingers and toes crossed on this one.
It's late and most definitely time to snuggle with Sean and watch a movie while we go to sleep. :)
Sunday, May 9, 2010
Meme: Sunday Stealing
1. What's your favorite Dr. Seuss book? Hmm.. Horton Hears A Who.. but probably only because of watching the recent movie.
2. If you could live in any home on a television series, what would it be? Mmm.. that's a hard one. Meredith's house on Grey's Anatomy is great. (but I've never really seen the yard) Wilson and Dr.House's condo is gorgeous (but I'm not a huge fan of having wall-to-wall neighbors.) I can't think of any series right now that has a gorgeous house on a big piece of land that would be good for a small horse barn. :)
3. What's the longest you've gone without sleep? A little over 48 hours.
4. What's your favorite Barry Manilow song? Don't know off the top of my head.
5. Who's your favorite Muppet? Don't know their names, but they're the twins that are on the wall that same,.. "Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm yepyepyepyep yep Mmmm.. YEP." Always thought they were hilarious.
6. What's the habit you're proudest of breaking? Smoking.. though it's an ongoing battle.
7. What's your favorite website? ER Stories. I have a few that I go to like it, but this guys is my favorite. Funny, gross, sad, amazing stuff. http://erstories.net/
8. What's your favorite school supply? Pens.
9. Who's your favorite TV attorney? Uh. Hmm.. the one from Law and Order SVU. I can't think of any others though. lol
10. What was your most recent trip of more than 50 miles? 50 miles or more one way? I think it was the move from Tampa up here to Gulf Breeze.
11. What's the best bargain you've ever found at a garage sale or junk shop? I found one of those awesome full cup blender sets that have six different cups, different drinking lids, different blending attachments for $5 at a garage sale. I can't find a nice set like that one for less than $50 online.
12. Where were you on September 11, 2001? Working at Steven's Hospital in Edmonds, WA.
13. What's your favorite tree? Pine trees. I love the smell, I miss the forests in Washington.
14. What's the most interesting biography you've read? Marilyn Mansons. Very trippy.
15. What do you order when you eat Chinese food? Most of the time Broccoli and Beef.
16. What's the best costume you've ever worn? Some of my SCA outfits. Corsets and big full circle dresses.
17. What's your least favorite word? Twat.
18. If you had to be named after one of the 50 states, which would it be? What a silly question. Uhm. Montana? .. Sure. Montana... that or Dakota.
19. Who's your favorite bear? Smokey. He prevents forest fires ya know!
20. Describe something that's happened to you for which you have no explanation. Meeting Sean so late in life. I wonder probably weekly why I couldn't have met him earlier in life. There's no explanation for it of course..... but all I can do is focus on how happy I am now. :)
21. If you could travel anywhere in Africa, where would it be? Anywhere. Quite literally. I think it would be amazing to go anywhere in Africa.
22. What did you have for lunch yesterday? Ihop. Eggs, Pancakes, Turkey Bacon.
23. Where do you go for advice? Sean, my Mom, or my sister Ris.
24. Which do you use more often, the dictionary or the thesaurus? Dictionary if you count word check in Microsoft Word. If not, then the thesaurus.
25. Have you ever been snorkeling? Scuba diving? Just snorkelling with my own cheapie equipment. I really really want to do more of both though! .. Ideally in some exotic places.
2. If you could live in any home on a television series, what would it be? Mmm.. that's a hard one. Meredith's house on Grey's Anatomy is great. (but I've never really seen the yard) Wilson and Dr.House's condo is gorgeous (but I'm not a huge fan of having wall-to-wall neighbors.) I can't think of any series right now that has a gorgeous house on a big piece of land that would be good for a small horse barn. :)
3. What's the longest you've gone without sleep? A little over 48 hours.
4. What's your favorite Barry Manilow song? Don't know off the top of my head.
5. Who's your favorite Muppet? Don't know their names, but they're the twins that are on the wall that same,.. "Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm yepyepyepyep yep Mmmm.. YEP." Always thought they were hilarious.
6. What's the habit you're proudest of breaking? Smoking.. though it's an ongoing battle.
7. What's your favorite website? ER Stories. I have a few that I go to like it, but this guys is my favorite. Funny, gross, sad, amazing stuff. http://erstories.net/
8. What's your favorite school supply? Pens.
9. Who's your favorite TV attorney? Uh. Hmm.. the one from Law and Order SVU. I can't think of any others though. lol
10. What was your most recent trip of more than 50 miles? 50 miles or more one way? I think it was the move from Tampa up here to Gulf Breeze.
11. What's the best bargain you've ever found at a garage sale or junk shop? I found one of those awesome full cup blender sets that have six different cups, different drinking lids, different blending attachments for $5 at a garage sale. I can't find a nice set like that one for less than $50 online.
12. Where were you on September 11, 2001? Working at Steven's Hospital in Edmonds, WA.
13. What's your favorite tree? Pine trees. I love the smell, I miss the forests in Washington.
14. What's the most interesting biography you've read? Marilyn Mansons. Very trippy.
15. What do you order when you eat Chinese food? Most of the time Broccoli and Beef.
16. What's the best costume you've ever worn? Some of my SCA outfits. Corsets and big full circle dresses.
17. What's your least favorite word? Twat.
18. If you had to be named after one of the 50 states, which would it be? What a silly question. Uhm. Montana? .. Sure. Montana... that or Dakota.
19. Who's your favorite bear? Smokey. He prevents forest fires ya know!
20. Describe something that's happened to you for which you have no explanation. Meeting Sean so late in life. I wonder probably weekly why I couldn't have met him earlier in life. There's no explanation for it of course..... but all I can do is focus on how happy I am now. :)
21. If you could travel anywhere in Africa, where would it be? Anywhere. Quite literally. I think it would be amazing to go anywhere in Africa.
22. What did you have for lunch yesterday? Ihop. Eggs, Pancakes, Turkey Bacon.
23. Where do you go for advice? Sean, my Mom, or my sister Ris.
24. Which do you use more often, the dictionary or the thesaurus? Dictionary if you count word check in Microsoft Word. If not, then the thesaurus.
25. Have you ever been snorkeling? Scuba diving? Just snorkelling with my own cheapie equipment. I really really want to do more of both though! .. Ideally in some exotic places.
Update on Sean and Momma's Day
So, straight to the point. Sean is doing good and great and fine. The big scare is over and with a few life changes that he's making he should be on the road to much less risk. He started taking Wellbutrin to quit smoking, YAY!!!.. and so far after only 2 days its making a difference. Yesterday he only had 6 cigs I think, he said he just didn't have the urge to have any more than that. He's only taking 1 pill right now and after the first week can bump up to 2 pills. In addition, the Wellbutrin should help keep his stress level down. We're both starting to watch the more salty foods and fatty foods, cutting them back almost completely. This will help sodium levels and also assist in losing some weight for both of us.
The results from the hospital were very good. There is absolutely zero, none, zilch damage to his heart. As most people probably know, one of the scariest parts of any type of a heart attack, no matter how minor, is that it can do heart damage. They ran SOOO many tests while he was in the hospital to check everything and I'm very happy to say that they couldn't detect any damage at all. Plus, on a just as great note, he doesn't have any kind of blockage in the veins, vessels, arteries, etc.
I am unbelievably relieved and very happy with the answers and information that we received. I will say I am not at all impressed with the hospital he stayed in, but I won't go into that. All on the positive today. :)
It's Mother's Day!!!!!!! Happy Happy Mother's Day to my family and friends and everyone that reads this blog and is a Mom. Sean took his Mom and I out to an unbelievable Mother's Day dinner last night. It's a little italian restaurant that's a bit hidden in the back part of Pensacola. It's gorgeous and rustic - the food made me appreciate italian food in a way I never have before. I kid you not that each bite was like a little piece of heaven. Absolutely unbelievable. They buy all their ingredients fresh and it takes a little while when you order your food to get it because EVERY sauce they make for every plate they do from scratch! It ranges about $16 - 25 per plate, but I think it's very reasonable for what you get. The portions were HUGE and I have enough to make up another two small meals. The server knew Sean's family and was awesome, making it an even better experience.
Today we're going to brunch at Sean's Dad's country club for another small Mother's Day celebration. They booked almost 150 reservations for brunch which is super good for Dad's restaurant. (he doesn't own it, but his happiness and salary in his job really depend on good business)
Anyhow, bunches of other things have happened, like doing a 15+ mile trail ride for the local rodeo this last weekend!!!!.. It was insane fun! ... but I need to get going so I can do a few things and then get ready for brunch.
The results from the hospital were very good. There is absolutely zero, none, zilch damage to his heart. As most people probably know, one of the scariest parts of any type of a heart attack, no matter how minor, is that it can do heart damage. They ran SOOO many tests while he was in the hospital to check everything and I'm very happy to say that they couldn't detect any damage at all. Plus, on a just as great note, he doesn't have any kind of blockage in the veins, vessels, arteries, etc.
I am unbelievably relieved and very happy with the answers and information that we received. I will say I am not at all impressed with the hospital he stayed in, but I won't go into that. All on the positive today. :)
It's Mother's Day!!!!!!! Happy Happy Mother's Day to my family and friends and everyone that reads this blog and is a Mom. Sean took his Mom and I out to an unbelievable Mother's Day dinner last night. It's a little italian restaurant that's a bit hidden in the back part of Pensacola. It's gorgeous and rustic - the food made me appreciate italian food in a way I never have before. I kid you not that each bite was like a little piece of heaven. Absolutely unbelievable. They buy all their ingredients fresh and it takes a little while when you order your food to get it because EVERY sauce they make for every plate they do from scratch! It ranges about $16 - 25 per plate, but I think it's very reasonable for what you get. The portions were HUGE and I have enough to make up another two small meals. The server knew Sean's family and was awesome, making it an even better experience.
Today we're going to brunch at Sean's Dad's country club for another small Mother's Day celebration. They booked almost 150 reservations for brunch which is super good for Dad's restaurant. (he doesn't own it, but his happiness and salary in his job really depend on good business)
Anyhow, bunches of other things have happened, like doing a 15+ mile trail ride for the local rodeo this last weekend!!!!.. It was insane fun! ... but I need to get going so I can do a few things and then get ready for brunch.
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
Exhausted and trying not to worry and waiting for answers
I can't believe it's really been 4 months since I last wrote in my blog. Craziness.
I had a plan to write a huge blog post tonight and catch up on all kinds of details... but... then I called my Mom and spoke with her for about an hour. Now I'm tired.
Very VERY short version of whats happening in life. Sean and I moved back to his hometown, the Pensacola-Gulf Breeze area, at the end of March because he got a job transfer. We're living with his parents while we save to move into an apartment. A I'm working at the Dr's office where his mother practices as a Nurse Practicioner making $9 an hour (ACKKK!).. but it's a great inbetween thing to pay the bills until I find a better job. I have an interview this Thursday. WOO! Living with his parents has its hard times, for both of us.
Sean has been overly stressed due to work, living with his family, his son, etc etc etc. That along with a history of heart problems has landed him in the hospital tonight. :( We don't currently know exactly what's wrong, we just know that his heart isn't very happy. His BP has been ranging from 150/90 to 175/98 at it's highest today. His heart rate has been between 90 and 102 regularly. A little info for those without any medical background, those numbers aren't immediately life threatening, but they're really NOT good and could be life threatening if not treated. So..... today his BP soared... he came into the Dr's office... Dr. W was concerned enough that she admitted him to the hospital. Don't worry, he's fine, right? Bah. How can I not worry? Yes, he is in great hands, he is currently doing good, but its impossible not to worry when the man I love dearly and completely is having heart problems. Maybe some would find it silly to say this at this point in the game, but I honestly don't know what I would do without him..... I can't even begin to imagine my life without him in it daily. Hell, I hate him being gone for one night. I miss him. I miss having his warm body next to me in bed. I miss the sound of his breathing. And damnit, I'm going to miss his snores waking me up occasionally tonight. *sigh* I'm keeping in mind that it's only one night (maybe more) and its by far for the best. He's in the best place he can be right now and hopefully we'll have some good answers by the end of tomorrow. Today they did a chest xray, ekg, blood work, and have some type of monitor hooked up to his heart that is keeping an eye on his heart rate 24/7. Tomorrow they at minimum have an echocardiogram (basically an ultrasound of the heart) and a stress test (he'll get on a treadmill to make the heart work hard while they monitor it) scheduled. Answers. We both will look forward to the answers.
I'm going to try (try is the operative word) to get some sleep.
I had a plan to write a huge blog post tonight and catch up on all kinds of details... but... then I called my Mom and spoke with her for about an hour. Now I'm tired.
Very VERY short version of whats happening in life. Sean and I moved back to his hometown, the Pensacola-Gulf Breeze area, at the end of March because he got a job transfer. We're living with his parents while we save to move into an apartment. A I'm working at the Dr's office where his mother practices as a Nurse Practicioner making $9 an hour (ACKKK!).. but it's a great inbetween thing to pay the bills until I find a better job. I have an interview this Thursday. WOO! Living with his parents has its hard times, for both of us.
Sean has been overly stressed due to work, living with his family, his son, etc etc etc. That along with a history of heart problems has landed him in the hospital tonight. :( We don't currently know exactly what's wrong, we just know that his heart isn't very happy. His BP has been ranging from 150/90 to 175/98 at it's highest today. His heart rate has been between 90 and 102 regularly. A little info for those without any medical background, those numbers aren't immediately life threatening, but they're really NOT good and could be life threatening if not treated. So..... today his BP soared... he came into the Dr's office... Dr. W was concerned enough that she admitted him to the hospital. Don't worry, he's fine, right? Bah. How can I not worry? Yes, he is in great hands, he is currently doing good, but its impossible not to worry when the man I love dearly and completely is having heart problems. Maybe some would find it silly to say this at this point in the game, but I honestly don't know what I would do without him..... I can't even begin to imagine my life without him in it daily. Hell, I hate him being gone for one night. I miss him. I miss having his warm body next to me in bed. I miss the sound of his breathing. And damnit, I'm going to miss his snores waking me up occasionally tonight. *sigh* I'm keeping in mind that it's only one night (maybe more) and its by far for the best. He's in the best place he can be right now and hopefully we'll have some good answers by the end of tomorrow. Today they did a chest xray, ekg, blood work, and have some type of monitor hooked up to his heart that is keeping an eye on his heart rate 24/7. Tomorrow they at minimum have an echocardiogram (basically an ultrasound of the heart) and a stress test (he'll get on a treadmill to make the heart work hard while they monitor it) scheduled. Answers. We both will look forward to the answers.
I'm going to try (try is the operative word) to get some sleep.
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